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ASK ADVICE CHICK: Answers to YOUR Dating, Sex, Life, & Love Questions!
Dear Advice Chick,
*Please note I grew up in church. I am a deacon at my church. I have strong religious beliefs. I always try to put God first. Mr. X was my first boyfriend since we were 14. That relationship lasted about a year or so but we both were busy so decided to split and remain friends. However we always kept in contact with each other. My sophomore year of college we decided to give the relationship a second try. That lasted for about a year but I was away and he was at home so things were not in our favor.
Ok, I know you are like, "what is the problem." Well I am a virgin. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. Most guys do not wait longer than 3 to 6 months. I am not sure if I should have sex with him and lose everything I have waited so long for. What is a girl to do? Half of my friends say do it; other say wait. But they all are sexually active so how can I really listen to something they did not do. Please note I am now 28. He is now saying that we can not get married unless we resolve this situation.
Please help!
Advice Chick replies,
Do not be pressured into giving your virginity away. It’s as final as death. Once it’s gone, it is gone.
Your guy mentioned resolving this situation? WHAT situation? You grew up in the church so you already know what God says about premarital sex. You’ve got some soul searching to do. Is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? Have you and he discussed marriage before? If yes, what’s the problem? Does he want to make you his wife or his friend with benefits? Do you love him? Does he love you?
I gave my virginity away to a man who did not deserve it. Many of us did. Hindsight truly is 20/20. The two of you have survived many obstacles; why not look into couples counseling at your church?
Having sex is physical and emotional. It’s complicated, and truly should be a precious act between man and wife. Do not have sex with some guy. Save yourself for your husband. Hopefully, it will be him.
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