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THE BRIDGE: The Black Top 10 -- White/Black Interaction Violations
* Many of us interact with whites on a regular basis in our neighborhoods, our jobs, and some in our circle of friends.
While some whites who spend time around us recognize that we are as human as they are, still others marvel at every minute difference between the races, as if we are an experiment in the social or biological sciences.
Some of us are embarrassed and try too hard to pretend that we aren’t connected to the rest of the African Diaspora, but others of us let fools know that we are a beautiful and proud people at our core.
Those of us with self-pride are quick to let others know that we are to be respected and our differences are not to be treated as novelty explorations.
In yet another Black Top Ten list, I’d like to outline some violations by whites when interacting with Black people.
Top Ten White/Black Interaction Violations:
1. Using “bro” or “girlfriend” excessively when speaking to us.
It’s one thing when whites use these terms as a part of their regular speech, even when speaking to other whites, but it’s quite another thing when they turn it up while speaking to someone Black.
2. Calling their hair an "Afro" simply because its puffed out.
We know that some whites have some genetic makeup that gives them kinky hair, even though they may not want to admit it. But we also know that some of them look silly trying to make their hair stand up like a real Afro does.
3. Saying that they have “Black girl” booty when it's wide instead of round like the Black woman’s famous physique.
Even J-Lo, who wants to be white badly, has a behind that is more wide than round. Aerobics and surgical implants notwithstanding, hidden genetics have given some white women genuine roundness, but some of them just aren’t what they think. Let them know that we know the difference and there is nothing like the original.
4. Saying that things are equal and that we need to stop looking for a handout or a handup, when more of them are on Welfare than us.
Even some ignorant Negroes think that racism is no longer a factor and that impoverished Blacks are lazy, looking for a handout, but since Blacks are as American as anyone, we should be given assistance to rise just as other groups are, including immigrants.
5. Claiming that the poorest of us are unsophisticated, as if they have never been to a trailer park to see their poor white trash cousins in action.
Really, there aren’t very many difference between what is considered “ghetto” behavior when exhibited by Blacks and “trailer trash” behavior when exhibited by whites. This includes off-the-wall names, garish clothing styles and the like.
6. Using far too much slang and using it in the wrong places to sound hip when speaking to us.
Many of us know some hip white people who flow with the vernacular naturally and with ease, but we also know far too many who pander to us with poor usage of slang that is often outdated and silly. My favorite counter tactic is to stare at the offender and proclaim: “I don’t understand anything you’re saying and I don’t know anyone who speaks that way.”
7. Making statements such as: “I'm not racist--I have two Black friends.”
Let them know that only racists deny their racism with the “Black friend” program.
8. Asking stupid, intrusive questions about our hairstyles and then trying to touch our dreads, braids, perms or bald heads.
If the offender is a child, patience may be in order, but adults who try to lay hands on other people need to be told that our race is not a petting zoo. Some need the crap smacked out of them. This includes Barbara Walters, who really ought to know better.
9. Acting as if Africans sound ignorant with their accents, while pretending that European accents are the sexy ones.
Let them know that the French accent may be sexy, but it is musical and beautiful to listen to English spoken with an accent from a native African language (I love hearing “Darryl” pronounced with an Ibo or Amharic twist).
10. Pretending that their tan is the same as our natural skin color.
We know that some whites tan and look nice, even though they are risking cancer. But we also know that some of them only turn red or orange and it’s just not the same as natural pigmentation.
Part of good race relations is an understanding that all of us are from the same human family, with differences that are part of what makes the world so beautiful.
If whites sincerely want to understand African culture, skin, hair, etc., they should pick up a few books and interact in a natural way to learn with respect. After all, that’s what we do when it comes to learning about them, right?
Darryl James is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. His first mini-movie, “Crack,” was released in March of this year. James’ latest book, “Bridging The Black Gender Gap,” is the basis of his lectures and seminars. Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com. James can be reached at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
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