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ASK ADVICE CHICK: Answers to YOUR Dating, Sex, Life, & Love Questions!
Dear Advice Chick,
*I was reading your column this morning and came across a statement that really bothered me. Regarding Clyde Romero's response to your hoping to find some SSBM (Single Straight Black Men) in the ATL; anyway, I believe that you stated: "Clyde is a single brother in the ATL (he's in a really great relationship with his boo, Denise) who had quite a few tips for my girl. Oh! Before I go on, she sent me two photos and she appears to be fit and really cute. PLUS - she has nice long hair and it's real!"
My question is: What does having "nice long hair that appears to be real" have anything to do with hooking your girl up with SSBM?" The comment just took me by surprise because I didn't see where it had any relevance to the issue. Personally I think that as a black people we are too caught up in the "nice long hair that looks real", I mean if her hair was short and looked real, would it have been commented on? I ask because I have struggled with this same issue as a black woman all of my life. My hair grows very fast and at it's longest came to stop just above my bra line in the middle of my back. I used to think that my hair was as important, I took so much time to nurture it and get it done every two weeks and it grew and grew and grew. And the attention I got!!! Well, let's just say that it made me feel so good. Anyway, to make a long story short, about 2 years ago, I took a step and cut all of my hair off (into a very short style) because I realized that my beauty or image of beauty for African American women was long, real, hair!!! I cut my hair to show myself that hair is just hair, short, long, curly, straight, kinky, etc. its holds no value until we put it there!!! I realize now (I’m growing my hair back out, 2 years is long for me!) I am great with or without long hair, it was me who put value in it as well as a lot of men and women in the black community. I just want to know your opinion on this matter or where you are coming from and why it was so significant that you had to add that in the column (if you did in fact make the comment).
Advice Chick replies,
Yes, I said it. I made the comment because so many black women wear extensions, weaves, and wigs. Yes, many black women also have natural (and long) hair, but men are telling me that they’re tigitty-tired of running their fingers through glue, thread, and hair pins attached to wigs. I will never front – I wear weaves, and wigs; to each her own.
Everyone has their own standard of beauty. Halle Berry, one of the most beautiful black women in the world, (so they say) has short hair. Naomi Campbell, a beauty in my opinion, wears wigs and weaves. All I can say is, “do you.” The rest will fall in place.
Questions? Comments? Send an email to advicechick@ameritech.net Media inquiry? Call Kimberly at 312-893-0538.
