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SACHA BARON COHEN: The Borat Interview
Borat in the House
*Sacha Baron Cohen was born in London on October 13, 1971, and attended the exclusive Haberdashers’ Aske’s Boys School. He majored in history at Christ’s College in Cambridge where he wrote his thesis on Jewish involvement with America’s Civil Rights Movement. He was planning to pursue a Ph.D. when he opted to take a shot at comedy.
Cohen became a hit on British TV in 2000, courtesy of Da Ali G Show, and was introduced to the U.S. when the series was picked up by HBO a few years later.
He plays a trio of colorful characters on the program: Ali G, a jive Jamaican; Bruno, a flamboyant fashion reporter; and Borat Sagdiyev, a naïve, anti-Semitic TV reporter from Kazakhstan. Here, ever in character as Borat, he fields questions about his new movie of the same name.
Kam Williams: Is Sacha Baron Cohen here today?
Borat Sagdiyev: I have no connection with Mr. Cohen, and I fully support my government’s decision to sue this Jew.
KW: Tell me a little about yourself.
BS: My name is Borat Sagdiyev, I am the son of and Asimbala Sagdiyev and Boltok the Rapist. I am the former husband of Oksana Sagdiyev, who was daughter of Marianne Tuliakbi and Boltok the Rapist. My hobbies is disco dance, table tennis, and also taking photographs of ladies doing toilet without their knowledge. Why not, they do not know?
KW: Tell me about your family.
BS: I have three childrens, Bilak, Biram, and Huey Lewis, who is 12 years-old. He has two childrens. Biram, who is 13, has American pen-friend, called Mr. Foley. All the time, “Come visit me. I come visit you. We meet in hotel room.” My sister make my family very proud by being number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. She recently won award from Kazakh minister of industry for best sex in mouth. I also have a brother named Bilo. He is a retard with a small head, but very strong arms.
KW: you didn’t mention a wife. Are you married?
BS: My first wife is dead? High-five!
KW: How did she die?
BS: I did not kill her. She was shoot by a hunter who mistake her for a bear, because she have much hair on her arms and back. No problem, I have a new wife, but I like cheat.
KW: You recently traveled to Washington, DC and visited the White House. What is your opinion of President Bush?
BS: Well, Kazakhstan very much admires your might warlord, George Walter Bush. He is a very wise man, and a very strong man, but perhaps not as strong as his father, Barbara.
KW: How does America’s political system compare to Kazakhstan’s?
BS: There are small differences between our system of politic. In Kazakh elections, for example, the winner is not the man with the most votes, but the candidate who can carry a woman against her will for the furthest distance. Our present leader can manage 4.3 miles. How long can Premier Bush?
KW: Who knows?
BS: There are other differences, too. In America, a woman can vote, but a horse cannot. That is unusual.
KW: Did you enjoy the time you spent filming in America?
BS: I would like say that I like US and A very much, enjoy your peoples, and enjoy your delicious foods. First day I here, I go to a restaurant named McDonald’s which is so fancy-pants, it actually have separate room for making toilet in. There I eat 17 hamburgers and 600 packets of red soup called ketchups. These did not agree so much with my stomach, and the next day my anus was hung loose like the mouth of a tired dog.
KW: Were you surprised by anything you saw as you traveled across the country?
BS: I learned many things that was different to how I expect from your country. For example, I was surprised to learn that it is now illegal to shoot at red Indians. I would like to apologize with all my heart to Chief Running Deer at the Potawatomi Casino in Nevada.
KW: What famous American would you still like to meet?
BS: I would like to meet fearless, anti-Jew warrior Melvin Gibsons. We in Kazakhstan agree with his comment that the Jews started all wars. And we also have proof that they were responsible for killing off all of the dinosaurs. Also, Hurricane Katrina. They did it. I would also like to have encounter with American football hero, O.J. Simpsons, who is a huge star in my country, and has earlier this year visited the capital, Almaty, where he judged the Miss Kazakhstan contest. I very much like this muscular man, yes?
One contestant was so crazy on him that she break into his hotel room while he was sleeping. She then stabbed herself to death and covered his clothes in blood. Fanatic!
KW: Do you have women in your film crew?
BS: There is no womens in Kazakh film industry. We say, “To give a woman a camera is like to give a monkey a gun.” We have stopped doing that ever since the 2003 Almati Zoo massacre.
KW: Are American films big in your country?
BS: In Kazakhstan, we are huge fannies of US and A movie films. And we have shown this by manufacturing pirate DVDs of many of them. We like movies of funnyman Edward Murphy. We in Kazakhstan laugh very much when we see his chocolate face, yes? It is unusual, the color.
KW: How has making a Hollywood movie changed your life?
BS: You know, I try to stay a normal persons. I like relax like any other ordinary man. I shoot dogs, I receive mouth party from my sister, and I drink fermented horse urine with the boys. I just a regular guy.
KW: Thanks for the interview, Borat.
BS: Thank you very much. Very nice be here, and very honored to be welcomed by you. I hope later you can come back my hotel room. We can wrestle, totally nude, and shoot dogs from a window. Thank you, I like you.
