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02-13-07 EUR ALL ON ONE PAGE
BACKSTAGE AT THE GRAMMYS: Blige, Ludacris, Ike Turner, Ruby Dee and more meet the press.
*As great moments are experienced on stage at the Grammys before a worldwide audience, there's another whole show that goes on backstage for the media once the winners leave the stage.
Here are the excerpts from Sunday night:
. Mary J. Blige: "This is an incredible night for me. It was not just a music business breakthrough, but a personal breakthrough. .When they didn't want to put out the album and wanted to put out a greatest hits record, it was like a valley. I was beating myself up over it."
. John Legend (best male R&B vocal performance): "It's nice to be back.
People say when you win best new artist, it's a jinx. But a lot of artists dispel that rumor. And I will too. I'm just going to continue to focus on making good music. Hopefully the rest will follow."
. Ludacris: "Today was the best day of my life. It topped the past best day of my life, which is when I got signed and didn't need to go back to my job. My life was filled with a lot of adversity and it really contributed a lot to this album. . Rappers have a lot to say. It's about understanding where people come from and our reality. When we make albums, we are talking about our neighborhood. We face a lot of adversity and people can be scared of the truth."
. Krayzie Bone (winner with Chamillionaire for "Ridin"): "Not many artists come out of Cleveland. That's something we're trying to change. The South is doing their thing now. The East Coast started it, the West Coast came in next. Now it's time for the Middle."
. "American Idol's" Randy Jackson on "Idol" winner Carrie Underwood: "Love her -- she's huge. She validates what we do here. People watch the show and the auditions and call us mean, but at the end of the season, some great people win."
. Ruby Dee (winner for spoken word album for "With Ossie And Ruby: In This Life Together"): "Words are just as demanding as music. There is a rhythm and song to the words. An autobiography is like dropping breadcrumbs along time for your kids and grandkids to find and learn about the times. We hope more people will be encouraged to write it down."
. The winner for historical album, "Lost Sounds: Blacks and the Birth of the Recording Industry 1891-1922," was a "team effort," said Richard Martin, one of the compilation's producers. "Finding these recordings in the nick of time before they were lost was a wonderful experience."
. Ornette Coleman (life achievement honoree): "Art and culture come from human beings trying to share love with other beings. That's what I try to do."
. Ike Turner (winner of traditional blues album for "Risin' with the Blues") was joined backstage by his son and co-producer, Ike Turner, Jr. "I'm working on blues-hop. It's a mixture between hip-hop and blues. I think it's time that blues made a change. I have the top hip-hoppers working on the album."
. Contemporary blues album winner Irma Thomas talked about her hometown of New Orleans and how it inspired her work and her album, "After the Rain."
"They were really pulling for me. Whenever I win, New Orleans wins ... the good that came out of it was all the charitable works I was able to do. It was my therapy."
. My Grammy Moment contest winner Robyn Troup on performing with Justin
Timberlake: "It was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. I was so ready for them to call someone else's name. I had my game face on and everything."
DRAMA AT CLIVE DAVIS' PRE-GRAMMY BASH: Whitney in the bldg; Timberlake bails citing 'flu'.
*As expected, Whitney Houston put in an appearance at Clive Davis'
annual pre-Grammy party Saturday in Beverly Hills, which included such luminaries as Quincy Jones, Diddy, Naomi Campbell, Janet Jackson, Jermaine Dupri, Nelly and Lionel Richie.
But surprisingly, the big news to come from the evening was who didn't show up, and that would be Justin Timberlake.
As Fox411's Roger Friedman tells it: "Timberlake backed out of performing at the show or showing up at all, and did so at the last minute. The given reason: He had the flu. But the real reason was that the ex-boy bander had performed at a party he threw the night before at a club, finishing up between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m. He managed to make Davis' show sound check, but wasn't able to replicate what he'd done on Thursday afternoon. Ironically, the song he was supposed to sing is called 'What Goes Around, Comes Around.'"
Smokey Robinson, who was in the house as a guest, stepped in to fill Timberlake's spot on the bill. "He wowed the Beverly Hilton ballroom crowd with an impromptu version of the most famous of all Motown songs, 'My Girl,'
which he wrote for the Temptations more than 40 years ago," notes Friedman.
The Black Eyed Peas, also at the party as guests, also filled in for Timberlake and performed "Let's Get It Started." Perhaps Whitney Houston would've preferred their track "Shut Up," which she famously sang on Bravo's "Being Bobby Brown" as her ex-husband danced in the driveway of an Atlanta hotel.
Friedman described Houston as keeping to herself during Davis'
party. "The only time she stood all evening was to accept kudos at her table from Davis on stage," he observed. "She clapped with wide-open palms and smiled widely, before quickly sitting down again. .Houston left once the entertainment part of the evening got into full swing."
Jennifer Hudson, a featured performer at the shindig, belted "And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going" and "I Am Changing" to an enthusiastic reception. Freidman commented: "These are not the songs she will sing at the Oscars, but oh my, if she did, the ratings would jump through the roof."
Other guests in attendance included Sam Moore, Beverly Johnson, Allen Toussaint, Terrence Howard, Mario Vasquez, JC Chasez, Al Jarreau, Dave Koz, Herbie Hancock, John Mayer, Taylor Hicks, Katharine McPhee, Kid Rock, most of the members of Earth Wind & Fire, Lisa Marie Presley, Pink and Rihanna.
WHITAKER, HUDSON WIN BAFTA AWARDS: Even the Brits are giving Jennifer Hudson props for "Dreamgirls."
*Both Forest Whitaker and Jennifer Hudson respectively add another major trophy to their extensive collection this award season. The actors each received BAFTA awards (the British version of the Oscars): Whitaker for his lead role in "The Last King of Scotland," Hudson for her supporting role in "Dreamgirls."
After famously drawing a blank while accepting his Golden Globe award last month, Whitaker managed to deliver another memorable acceptance speech Sunday night at the Royal Opera House in London's Covent Garden.
The actor thanked the cast, the crew and his grandmother and then started to walk off the stage - but came running back to the microphone and added with a smile: "And my wife!"
Later Whitaker explained to reporters backstage: "I gave a special thank you to my grandma because she just passed away a couple of days ago and I walked away and I forgot to mention my wife."
Hudson was unable to attend the ceremony, as she was busy announcing the winner of "My Grammy Moment" during the Grammys Sunday night in Los Angeles.
"The Last King of Scotland" was also voted best British film of the year and won the prize for best adapted screenplay.
HUDSON JOINS ELITE COMPANY WITH VOGUE COVER: Oscar nominee to front magazine's annual Power Issue.
*When the new March issue of Vogue magazine hits newsstands later this month, Jennifer Hudson will become one of only three African-American actresses to have graced the cover since its launch in 1892. The other tw Oprah Winfrey and Halle Berry.
Noted celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz shot the Chicago native at the World Famous Apollo Theater in Harlem last month. Hudson's cover photo for the magazine's annual Power Issue will be accompanied by a seven-page spread that reportedly includes three more portrait pictures of the "Dreamgirls" powerhouse.
Vogue will probably begin releasing images of the Hudson spread sometime next week, a source tells E! Planet Gossip.
The magazine's editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour, chose Hudson for the cover despite the common belief in the publishing world that African-American celebrities on magazine covers do not sell.
BLIGE MAY HAVE SET AN ACCEPTANCE SPEECH RECORD: Grammy-winner managed to squeeze out 55 names.
*The wrap-it-up music was getting louder and louder, but Mary J.
Blige was determined to thank every single one of the 55 people whose names she wrote in her Grammy acceptance speech for R&B album of the year.
The singer was nearly in tears at the outset as she expressed the significance of winning for her album "The Breakthrough" and the arduous journey she endured en route to the moment.
And then thank yous began.and wouldn't stop for two straight minutes. Blige had waited long and fought hard for the moment, and stood her ground as she thanked God, Jesus, her husband Kendu, her three step-children, her mother, family members, a string of record executives and even the tape delivery guy.
Producers started the music and tried to gently play her off, but she continued on for another 30 seconds - yelling over the music. When it was all over, the jubilant singer carried her Grammy backstage to face the press.
PRINCE VS. FOO FIGHTERS: Rockers can't believe artist performed their song at the Super Bowl.
*Apparently, there's a beef going on between Prince and the Foo Fighters, a rock group founded in 1995 by former Nirvana drummer, Dave Grohl.
It started in 2004, when the band asked Prince if they could release a cover of his classic track, "Darling Nikki." Of course, Prince said no. But the superstar reportedly went the additional mile and put the group on blast by publicly urging them to write their own songs.
Cut to the Super Bowl halftime show.
"I was watching the game at our producer's house," recalls Foo Fighter drummer Taylor Hawkins to MTV News. "I mean, I'm outside smoking a cigarette and someone sticks their head outside and goes, 'Uh, dude, Prince is doing your song.'"
Hawkins ran inside to see Prince performing a portion of the group's song "Best of You."
"I have no idea why he did it, but I'd love to find out," said Hawkins. "The thought went through my head that maybe he was doing it as a sort of '[Bleep] you' to us, or maybe he really likes the song."
As for the group's version of "Darling Nikki," Hawkins says: "We wanted to put it out here in the States, but Prince wouldn't let us. I heard that he didn't like our version. Or maybe he just didn't like us doing it."
ROBYN TROUP AND HER 'GRAMMY MOMENT': Texas teen spends 19th birthday singing with Justin Timberlake.
*The last thing she expected was for her named to be called.
"I was so prepared for them to say somebody else. I had my game face on and everything," said Robyn Troup, the Houston native who got to perform with Justin Timberlake Sunday night as winner of a talent contest called, "My Grammy Moment."
The college student, who also turned 19 on Sunday, was a finalist in the contest along with Africa Miranda and Brenda Radney. Mere seconds after Jennifer Hudson announced Troup as the winner, she was on stage adjusting her microphone and singing a medley of songs with Timberlake - an experience she described backstage as "a blur."
"I just zoned in on Mary J. Blige," Troup said of the multiple-Grammy winner seated near the stage. "She was right there and she's such an inspiration to me."
Troup beat out thousands of other contestants who submitted videos of a capella performances to be considered for the contest. Judges narrowed the race to 12 finalists and online voters further slimmed the competition.
Grammy viewers sent text messages during the show to select the winner.
Recording Academy President Neil Portnow said the contest may become a regular part of the annual telecast.
"Every year, we get a blank canvas to paint on," he said. "We may do something like this. We may vary it. We may change it. We'll (look) tomorrow and see how we do."
KENNETH 'SUPREME' MCGRIFF ESCAPES DEATH: Irv Gotti's boy gets life without parole for double murder.
*Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff, the drug kingpin who was convicted of hiring hit men to kill two rivals in 2001, was sentenced Friday to life in federal prison without the possibility of parole.
Prosecutors were pushing for the death penalty after McGriff was found guilty last Feb. 1 of paying $50,000 for the murder of Troy Singleton and Eric "E Money Bags" Smith.
Some family members of the victims had expressed an aversion to a death sentence for McGriff, stating an unwillingness to experience any further loss of life. A Brooklyn jury was split in deciding against the death penalty for McGriff.
During the late 90s, the convicted felon had teamed with his friend, Murder Inc's Irv "Gotti" Lorenzo, to produce a film.
T.R. KNIGHT BULLIED AGAIN…THIS TIME BY DIDDY: 'Grey's Anatomy' actors told to move out of VIP to make room for Combs.
*While Justin Timberlake was performing at his pre-Grammy party Friday night at the Avalon in Los Angeles, drama was jumping off in the VIP section between the cast of "Grey's Anatomy" and impresario Sean "Diddy" Combs.
According to the New York Post's Page Six, "Grey's" cast member T.R.
Knight - fresh from dealing with co-star Isaiah Washington and his gay slurs
- was with fellow "Grey's" actors Kate Walsh and Sara Ramirez in VIP watching performances by Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, and Fergie and will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas.
Suddenly, according to Page Six, "the three were told to leave by a security person believed to be working for Combs' entourage as 'he wasn't working for the club,'" our spy said.
"The witness continued, 'Puffy was supposed to sit in the same VIP area that had four tables - two were for him and two were for the "Grey's Anatomy" cast. But he was very, very late, and there are a lot of 'Grey's'
castmembers, so T.R., Kate and Sara were at a table set up for Puffy."
According to the witness, Diddy's muscle approached T.R., Kate and Sara and shouted: "Get out! Get out now! Move it!"
Page Six continues: "'T.R. was furious,' our spy who was in the same VIP section said. The spy added that Combs and Knight exchanged words before the 'Grey's' cast were led away to another table. But a pal of Combs'
said, 'Listen, if they were moved, it wasn't because Puffy told [his bodyguard to move them]. He wasn't aware of what was going on - he had a great time and didn't realize anyone was upset.'"
WHITNEY HOUSTON, JENNIFER HUDSON ALBUMS SHAPING UP: Clive's babies have producers lined up for long-awaited LPs.
*News is beginning to trickle out regarding two highly-anticipated album projects under the stewardship of record mogul Clive Davis.
According to Fox411 columnist Roger Friedman, seven songs have been chosen for Houston's comeback album, while Oscar nominee Jennifer Hudson is in the process of choosing songs and producers for her debut album, due later this year.
Friedman writes of Houston's project: "The songwriters include Dianne Warren, R Kelly, Jermaine Dupri and Kenny 'Babyface' Edmonds.
Warren's song is titled 'I Didn't Know How Much Strength I Had.'"
As for Hudson's potential producers, Friedman writes: "I'm told their first choice comes from hip hop star Ne-Yo. Davis - whose ears are nearly never wrong - hears a match with the phenomenal Oscar winner-to-be."
'IDOL' REJECT LEROY WELLS ARRESTED AGAIN: Crazy Alabama dude with the grill nabbed for reckless driving.
*Leroy Wells, the colorful Alabama native who had to watch his 2005 "American Idol" audition from a jail cell, has run afoul of the law once again.
Wells was arrested Monday after allegedly charging at deputies who had pursued his vehicle for reckless driving in Alabama, reports TMZ.com. Mobile County cops say they had to subdue him with a taser after he failed to comply with the deputy's instructions. Officials also found a .38 caliber gun in Wells' front seat.
The one-time "Idol" hopeful was charged with six counts of resisting arrest, possession of drug paraphernalia, giving a false name to law enforcement, no pistol permit, person forbidden to possess a pistol, and fleeing/attempting to elude.
In January of 2005, Wells was arrested and jailed for failing to appear in court for an earlier charge where he reportedly fired a hand gun into an occupied vehicle.
ANNA NICOLE PHOTGRAPHED IN BED WITH BAHAMIAN OFFICIAL: Another bizarre twist in the mess following her death.
*From somewhere out of left field, a photograph popped up Monday showing a fully clothed Anna Nicole Smith cuddling in bed with Bahamian Immigration Minister Shane Gibson, who has been criticized for giving the late actress special treatment in approving her application for permanent residency.
The pictures, splashed on the front page of the Tribune of Nassau, shows Gibson and the late Smith in a playful embrace on top of a bed decorated with pink flowers and a white ribbon. The images are adding fuel to his political opponents, who believe the former Playboy Playmate used her feminine wiles on him to gain residence.
The residency application was based on Smith's purported ownership of a waterfront mansion. But G. Ben Thompson, a South Carolina developer who once dated Smith, has said he had not given Smith the house as a gift as her lawyers have asserted.
The newspaper said the photographs were taken in Smith's bedroom and that it obtained the pictures Sunday from an unidentified source. Smith died Thursday after she was found unresponsive in a Hollywood, Florida hotel room.
ITTY BITTY BITS: Whitney & Bobby B; Oprah fetes Mary J.; 'Monster's Ball' on iTunes; Rhonda Ross in real estate; Haysbert on playing Mandela.
*Whitney Houston and ex-husband Bobby Brown were spotted together Sunday night taking their daughter Bobbi Christina to Dan Tana, an Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills. Houston filed for divorce from Brown last October, and last week asked a judge to speed up the process.
*Oprah Winfrey swept into Los Angeles to throw a party for Mary J.
Blige on Friday night. According to Fox411, Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett were on hand at the function, as was Tom Cruise.
*Halle Berry's Oscar-winning performance in "Monster's Ball" is now available for purchase at iTunes following a new deal between the online music store and Lionsgate. "We're delighted to offer these incredibly popular Lionsgate films on iTunes, and look forward to adding even more films in the future," said Steve Beeks, president of Lionsgate. "iTunes lets users download these wonderful films to watch on their computer, TV or iPod, so movie fans can take their favorite Lionsgate films with them anywhere."
*Rhonda Ross, the daughter of Diana Ross and Berry Gordy, is reportedly ballin' out of control as a real estate agent in New York.
According to The Real Deal real estate magazine, the 35-year-old singer/actress has among her listings at Citi Habitats a five-bedroom duplex rental on the Upper West Side for $16,000 a month and a one-bedroom in Harlem with a monthly price tag of $1,900. When she's not showing properties, Ross continues to sing, reports the New York Post.
*Actor Dennis Haysbert, star of CBS' "The Unit," recently spoke about the emotions involved during the filming of his new movie "Goodbye Bafana," where he plays former South African leader, Nelson Mandela, during the 20-year period he spent in jail. Haysbert said he found the experience "daunting." He says: "Every night I went home, I would have a glass of wine and just cry. The sacrifices he made were profoundly sad to me." The movie premiered Sunday at the Berlin Film Festival.
MO'KELLY REPORT: The War on Barack Obama
*As they say, “be careful what you ask for…you just might get it.”
Illinois Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) has officially announced his candidacy for the presidency of these United States; which was great news for his supporters and idealists who’ve been waiting with baited breath.
Obama is by most accounts the first candidate of African descent to have a legitimate shot to gain the Democratic nomination. And if you ask Senator Joe Biden (D-DE), he’s the first “clean and articulate” African-American candidate at that.
And so “it” begins… (sigh)
Many of us imagine the prospect of a legitimate African-American presidential candidate, with fancy and folly. Many of us have been of the opinion that Barack Obama could in fact obtain the Democratic nomination and even win the general election.
Not so fast, slow your roll. Don’t forget that there’s still Scylla, Charbydis a rock, a hard place and the gates of hell that stand in his way in the meantime.
Before Obama gets to hum Hail to the Chief, a bevy of events will take place. Not “might” take place, but WILL take place. When they do, ‘We’ will have to remind ourselves that hell AND high water are inevitable in such situations. ‘We’ should prepare accordingly.
Obama will have to defeat the ignorant mentality which is “surprised” at the idea of a former president of the Harvard Law Review and present U.S. Senator actually being “clean” and “articulate.”
"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy," Biden said. "I mean, that's a storybook, man." -- Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE)
That’s no small task.
Obama will come under fire from the African-American electorate who will openly question whether he is “Black enough” to advance the supposed “African-American Agenda.” Without a doubt, Obama will catch hell from African-American political and civic leaders in the coming months.
“Right now we’re hearing a lot of media razzle-dazzle. I’m not hearing a lot of meat, or a lot of content. I think when the meat hits the fire, we’ll find out if it’s just fat, or if there’s some real meat there.” -- Al Sharpton
“Barack Obama claims an African-American heritage. Barack Obama and I have the same race, that is…physical characteristics. We are not from the same heritage. My ancestors toiled in slavery in this country. My consciousness…who I am as a person, has been shaped by my struggle, deeply emotional and deeply painful, with the reality of that heritage.” -- Alan Keyes
You can also be sure that Obama will catch the worst of holy hell from a political machine that will bring to light any purported sins, be they by thought, word or deed…even if they aren’t true. If there is ever to be an all-out assault on a singular man of African descent, to emasculate him before his family and African-Americans as a whole; this will be it.
Are ‘We’ ready to stomach the very worst the American political machine has to offer?
It’s one thing to besmirch someone’s character through purported drug experimentation twenty years ago or question whether he may have embellished his military record. That’s been reserved for the other, “regular” candidates in the past. There’s something altogether different in store for Barack Obama with twice the potency.
With all due respect, Rev. Jesse Jackson was never a legitimate threat to take the White House. Rev. Al Sharpton was never a legitimate threat to even file his taxes in a responsible manner, let alone to win the White House. They may have garnered America’s attention, energized the political discourse and changed the way the game might be played but neither was a danger to win “the game” outright. Retired general Colin Powell was never likely to gain the support of a Republican base during the height of its neo-con revolution and challenge for the White House. None of the aforementioned was on the verge of making the founding fathers of this country shiver in their graves.
Senator Barack Obama, as of this missive is one Senator Clinton gaffe away from being the front-runner for the Democratic nomination during a time in which Republicans enjoy their lowest level of popularity in more than 12 years. Obama is a serious threat with historic implications. Serious enough in which America will not only throw the kitchen sink at him, they’ll go ahead and throw the whole city block just to be sure. Think “War of the Worlds” and Obama is Tom Cruise running down the street trying to dodge being vaporized by the 50-foot death machines.
Having said all that, let’s come to some agreement about Senator Obama and prepare ourselves for the inevitable moments of pain and discomfort that certainly await us as ‘We’ watch this assault unfold.
Barack Obama will not ever be all things to all people and will be raked over the coals for it. He will never be “Black enough” to appease African-Americans and will always be “too Black” to everyone else, as evidenced by their denigrating references of “Black candidate” instead of “candidate.” There will be points in this process in which both sides will seek to dismiss and deny his credibility. This is the fee required for fielding a legitimate presidential candidate with more in common with Sally Hemings than Thomas Jefferson. This is the price to be paid for someone as equally comfortable with discussing Langston Hughes or Howard Hughes.
There will come a time in which the lynch mob of media will seek to hang him from the gallows in Hi-Def if the opportunity arises. ‘We’ should neither be surprised nor even angered when it comes to pass. These are the dues assessed for a legitimate presidential candidate with more than the Jim Crow maximum of one drop of African blood running through his veins. Manage your emotions now, because it is coming as sure as the sun rises in the east.
Barack Obama will repeatedly be accused of being a Muslim sympathizer (read: terrorist) due to alleged schooling in a Muslim seminary in Indonesia. This is the inevitable result of living in a post 9/11 world. Obama will be considered “too close” to Osama in more ways than one. Quell your anger now, because it is coming. Wait, check that…they already have.
If that wasn’t enough, he’ll be accused time and time again of being a Marxist/socialist. Don’t get mad…just get ready, it is coming. Oops, too late…it’s already here. Well, if you’ve think you’ve heard the last of it…think again.
If you thought the mudslinging, mean-spirited and factually inaccurate ad campaign that sought to embarrass Tennessee senate candidate Harold Ford was bad…just you wait and see what’s likely in store for Barack Obama. Start to deep breathe and count to ten right now…because as sure as sugar is sweet, it’s coming.
Barack Obama will be accused of being anything and everything antithetical to the supposed “American” ideal as Mo’Kelly will submit that the very idea of a Black man is still…”un-American.”
And what else says “un-American” better than accusations of Marxism and Islam?
Exactly…
In 1988, the political ad campaign against Michael Dukakis included the infamous rapist and murder Willie Horton, to play upon the fears of the Black man and what he’ll “likely” do if “free.” That will likely pale in comparison to what awaits Barack Obama; as for many Americans, he and Willie are one-in-the-same.
His White detractors will call him everything but the N-word in public, yet saving it for private discourse. His Black detractors will call him everything BUT the N-word, likely alleging he’s not “Black enough” to “earn” the twisted term of endearment. The war on Barack Obama stands to be nothing short of phenomenal. There will be other casualties, collateral damage to include his family and friends.
Just remember, this is what many of us asked for…and now we got it. The fleas come with the dog and hatred comes with a presidential candidate of African descent with legitimate chances.
‘We’ have long wished for a legitimate candidate of African descent to make a run for the White House in earnest. To this day, Mo’Kelly is still skeptical as to whether either a woman or a “Black” presidential candidate could ever win the general election…but we shall see.
In fact, we shall see plenty.
We will get an unbiased, unfiltered and unflinching look at whether this country can measure up to the idea of democracy we’ve been so blithely touting and exporting around the world.
Many of us have been ready for Barack Obama to announce his candidacy, but are ‘We’ ready for all that it entails?
The Mo'Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse...as well as entertain. For more Mo’Kelly, http://mokellyreport.blogspot.com. Morris W. O'Kelly can be reached at mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.
ASK ADVICE CHICK: Answers to YOUR Dating, Sex, Life, & Love Questions!
© - AdviceChick@ameritech.net
Advice Chick HOLLA! YOU can be a part of my upcoming Internet video show! Call (312) 205-0850 to ask YOUR questions! I'll answer them on the show. Comments & gossip welcome too. Call now!
Dear Advice Chick,
*Hello. How soon into a relationship are you required to express your sexual preferences? Most men seem to expect me to reach climax from receiving oral, but, I only reach climax from actual penetration. This disappoints and actually angers some men. Should I tell the truth right away, before sex even, or just fake it, so we can get to what I really prefer?
Advice Chick replies,
Most men; some men … damn girl, you a prostitute or something? When it comes to sex why fake anything? People usually discuss their sexual wants and desires BEFORE becoming sexual. Whether your hookups are “relationships” or “business transactions,” open the lines of communication prior to opening your legs.
Valentines Day Tidbits
If you’re dating someone you really care about make sure you buy the cards, flowers, candy, and gifts today or tomorrow.
If the person doesn’t really matter, wait until Thursday when all Valentines Day merchandise is 50% off.
“Turtles” are old school as hell, in a bad way. Two can’t miss Valentines Day candy choices are Godiva and Fannie Mae.
If you’re going to send flowers, I suggest stopping by a local florist to select your buds. This way they usually arrive fresh. Sometimes the flowers you order online arrive frozen. Not good.
When you buy a card, take the time and effort to write something heart-felt in there. Signing your name is nice, but adding a personal touch means more.
If you are dating more than one person spend the entire evening with the person who is really special to you.
Single? Buy yourself a card or two. Buy yourself a box of candy, and a bouquet of roses. Buy yourself a Journey Necklace or a Tennis Bracelet.
Valentines Day Movie suggestions:
Daddy’s Little Girl
Norbit (I saw Norbit and it was funny as hell! I might see it again!)
Constellation
Happy Valentines Day everyone! Yesterday was MY birthday! Call (312) 205-0850 and send me some birthday shout outs!
Send YOUR questions to Advice Chick right NOW! Please put “Dear Advice Chick” in the subject line so your email isn’t deleted as spam. Thanks! advicechick@ameritech.net.
YOU can be a part of my Internet video show! Call (312) 205-0850 to ask YOUR questions! Tell your friends!
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Ask Advice Chick about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to dating, sex, love, and life! She is THE resident dating expert at EURweb.com, and calls on over 11 years of dating and relationship industry experience.
THE BRIDGE: Black History or African History?
By Darryl James
*It’s Black History Month and wherever you are, you should be either studying Black History, or planning to create Black History.
Instead of discussing some great achievements by Black men or Black women, I’d like to discuss the great achievements that lie ahead of Africans in America. Those great achievements can only occur after we define ourselves with some practicality and foresight.
When it comes to Black History, most Africans in America start studying sometime around the beginning of the slave trade and bring it through to about the middle of the twentieth century. That’s a very short history for a people with such a rich background.
The problem is that we either define ourselves based on our attachment to America, or based on our attachment to Africa. As a people, we become fragmented, because some of us want no attachment to Africa and some of us want no attachment to America.
Further compounding the problem are two facts: One, that racist Americans (including some self-hating Negroes) want to deny us the birthright to this nation purchased by the blood, sweat and tears of our slave ancestors. Two, that some confused and self-hating Africans want to deny us the birthright to the African continent based on our “impurity,” after being mixed with other races over the centuries.
The argument really comes down to consciousness, because perception is reality. Whatever we perceive ourselves to be comes into existence. Our perception of ourselves does not have to be based on what the Devil’s children in white or black face deliver to us. Our perception of ourselves must be based on whatever we deliver to ourselves.
Personally, I believe that nearly every ethnicity in America except Blacks have it right. Italians are still Italian even if they speak no Italian and have never seen Italy. There are Polish people in this nation who define themselves as such even though the original Polish person in their family came to America four centuries ago.
But what of the African American? We are the only people in this nation who continue to redefine ourselves based on things outside of our consciousness.
Now, I already know that we are not a monolithic people. Some of us will go one way and some will go another. That having been said, if you are not with me, I’d like you to turn away, because I will not be speaking to you or for you.
I split African people from Black people in consciousness only. This is because they have two different ways of thinking. The Black man across the planet has embraced such titles as Negro, Colored, Afro-American, African American, Haitian, Jamaican, West Indian, Brazilian, etc. All of these titles are basically false, because travel to a land named “whatever” does not make you a person of “whatever” culture, or alter your cultural identity to “whatever.” There is a physiology, a psychology and a spirituality that Africa delivers to the African across the globe whether you embrace it or not.
From nation to nation, we can feel the same musical rhythms, we can feel the same history of attack, oppression, separation and confusion and we can feel the same spirituality if we embrace these things. No matter where you happen to be born on the planet, there are things within you that make you the physical and spiritual manifestation of Africa. You can reject this ideology and become American, Canadian, or whatever, but reality is not your friend and you will continue to be confused while failing to evolve.
Black people who define themselves based solely on their land of residence are defining themselves based on self perception, which is sad, because all of the lands outside of Africa continue to reject us, even as many of us attempt to embrace them.
People argue that we built America, and it is a great nation, so we should claim it as our own. I agree with that to a point, but because of the beautiful, rich and lengthy history of Africa, I would rather align myself with the history that begins on that continent than any nation.
As an American, Black history begins with slavery. African history begins with civilization.
The first human civilizations sprung up off the coast of river valleys in the eastern region of Africa, such as the Nile. Africa became the center of mathematics and science, as well as religion. Our legacy has been obfuscated and stolen, but it is still there for us to claim.
The invasion of so-called Western Civilization brought confusion, including the confusion centered in our very definition of self.
We can embrace being Black, but only with the understanding that the most fundamental portion of being Black is being African. The most fundamental portion of being African is being balanced. Balance comes to us based on where we start our study.
Some people start studying history as Africans, and others start studying as Blacks. In both groups, many seem to concentrate on Black and/or African achievements without proper perspective. Without proper perspective--which involves an understanding of how an African or Black person arrived at their achievements--one can only marvel at the end result without having adequate information as to how these people arrived at the achievement.
We can trace many great inventions as well as math, science and art to Black people, but we will still have only a cursory attachment to those achievements as long as we fail to fully embrace an understanding of who those people were and how we are connected to them. That is why it is extremely important to embrace and celebrate the original consciousness of the African people, as opposed to focusing only on the achievements of these people after they arrived in America.
We should eventually free ourselves from titles and move toward consciousness, but the evolution has to begin somewhere. Black History Month, which began as Black History week is a great concept, but it should continue to evolve as our consciousness evolves.
African History Living should be year round, and the celebration must be a constant inward journey of our self to the root of our existence, beginning with the re-evaluation of the modern African under Western thought.
Yes, Black people, it is time for us to plan on creating Black History. That begins with defining ourselves.
Darryl James is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. His first mini-movie, “Crack,” was released in March of 2006. He is currently filming a full-length documentary. James’ latest book, “Bridging The Black Gender Gap,” is the basis of his lectures and seminars. Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com. James can be reached at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
THE JOURNAL OF STEFFANIE RIVERS: Personal Accountability
*When I was a child, my mother always told me “Say where you’re going and go where you say.” It was her mantra whenever I left home to venture the neighborhood. A change in my plan along the way constituted a lie in my mother’s eyes.
I’ve learned to appreciate people who keep it simple and tell the truth. So I cast aside my aversion to big crowds (almost always accompanied by big egos) to attend the eighth annual State of the Black Union address at Hampton University in Virginia.
It’s been said to tell the truth has become a revolutionary act in today’s public arena. And there were some revolutionaries in attendance. But for me the best part of any event such as this is a workable action-plan anyone of the ten thousand attendees or millions of viewers can adopt.
One year ago, Tavis Smiley’s best-selling book Covenant With Black America, outlined ten issues facing Black people that are critical to our prosperousness or demise. The sequel, called Covenant In Action, is a compilation of the deeds of everyday people working to make a difference in their communities.
Even though you might not agree with every decision, Smiley, just as he should, leads from the front with tangible ideas and achievable goals. One of his latest goals is to moderate two debates to include every candidate running for the office of U.S. President. Democratic candidates will debate issues important to Black Americans in June at Howard University in Washington, D.C. Republican candidates will do the same in September at Morgan State University in Baltimore. Both events will be televised live on PBS.
Before we ask others to represent us we must be willing to represent ourselves through community action. That’s why something as simple as abstaining from chocolate to support fair trade cocoa cooperatives is the least we can do (see my previous columns on the subject). Self-discipline is the beginning. In the words of my favorite poet Robert Frost, we have miles to go before we sleep.
Steffanie Rivers if a free-lance journalist living in the Washington, DC metro area. Send your questions or comments to her at teamtcbadvertising@hotmail.com.
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