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02-05-08 EUR ALL ON ONE PAGE(February 5, 2008)
OPRAH SAYS SHE HASN'T BETRAYED WOMEN: TV host defends support for Obama over Clinton in Los Angeles. *Oprah Winfrey and her close friend Maria Shriver appeared at a rally for Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama in Los Angeles Sunday to get folks fired up for today's Super Tuesday election. Among other topics, the talk show host addressed recent criticism she received from women's groups for choosing to endorse Obama over his female opponent Hillary Rodham Clinton. She told the crowd: "You know, after Iowa, there were some women who had the nerve to say to me, 'How could you, Oprah? How could you? You're a traitor to your gender.' I was both surprised by that comment and insulted. "I thought, if Barack Obama was a state, he'd be California," she said to a crowd of 9,000 inside UCLA's Pauley Pavilion. "Diverse, open, smart, independent, bucks tradition. Innovative. Inspirational. Dreamer.
*Michael Ealy will follow up his role in Spike Lee's World War II feature "Miracle at St. Anna" with a part in the upcoming Will Smith drama "Seven Pounds." Rosario Dawson has already been cast as the woman, while Ealy signed on to play Smith's younger brother. Ealy was nominated for a Golden Globe for his performance on Showtime's "Sleeper Cell." Lee's "Miracle at St. Anna" is based on the true story of four black WWII soldiers who risk their lives to save an Italian boy while in enemy territory.
*Michael Vick has been ordered to repay only $3.75 million of the $20 million sought by the Atlanta Falcons in its attempt to recover bonus money lost when the suspended quarterback was convicted on dogfighting-related charges. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that Monday's ruling overturns an arbitrator's earlier decision that called for Vick to repay the Falcons $20 million in bonuses since he could not earn them due to his 23-month federal prison sentence and indefinite suspension by the NFL. Vick's attorney, Lawrence Woodward Jr., said his client was pleased with the ruling, but understands there could be appeals.
*Mary J. Blige has always been candid about her past drug and alcohol abuse, but the singer has never been quite as open about her sex life – until now. During a visit to "The Tyra Banks Show," Blige was asked point blank if she's ever made love on an airplane. After hesitating for a moment, the artist shocked Tyra and the audience when she replied, "Yeah." Banks fished for more details about Blige's Mile High membership, NEW ORLEANS SAINTS PLAYER STABBED: Charles Grant assaulted early Sunday in nightclub incident; pregnant woman killed. *New Orleans defensive end Charles Grant was stabbed in the neck early Sunday in an altercation at a southwest Georgia nightclub that also ended with a pregnant woman being shot and killed. The athlete was rushed to Early Memorial Hospital, where he was treated and later released, according to authorities.
*J Records head Clive Davis has sent out invitations to his annual pre-Grammy dinner extravaganza and Fox411's Roger Friedman has a detailed description of it in his Monday column. "The swanky black and gold square-shaped invitation has four pages of past dinner performers," Friedman wrote. "The book opens with Alicia Keys, and continues with such Davis stalwarts as Whitney Houston, Rod Stewart, Annie Lennox, Barry Manilow, Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson.
*Just when it appeared as if Fat Joe may have outgrown his beef with 50 Cent, Complex.com features an interview with the hefty artist in which he suggests that the G-Unit founder is a coward. "He's got shot by people who he knows who they are, and he doesn't do nothing about it," Fat Joe told the magazine.
*A countersuit has been filed against the widow of Sammy Davis Jr. in the ongoing drama surrounding rights to the Rat Pack entertainer's life story and management of his legacy. As previously reported, Altovise Davis said in a lawsuit filed in federal district court that two men - Barrett LaRoda and Anthony Francis - exaggerated their show-business credentials and defrauded her into signing away some rights to her husband's estate. Davis claimed she was close to a deal last year with a Hollywood studio for a movie about her husband until LaRoda and Francis got involved and derailed the project by asking for more money. On Jan. 22, attorneys representing LaRoda and Sammy Davis Jr. Enterprises filed a lawsuit against Altovise Davis and Burt Boyar in the U.S. District Court in the Central District of California. “Our clients are deeply hurt, saddened, and disappointed, by the original lawsuit filed in Dallas against Tony Francis and Barrett LaRoda by Altovise Davis and Burt Boyar, et.al," read a statement from attorneys William Marshall, Jr., Van Alexander and David H. Harper, who are representing LaRoda and Sammy Davis Jr. Enterprises. The release continues: “There are so many in the entertainment industry as well as mutual close friends and family members, who can attest to the fact that over the years, Mr. LaRoda and Mr. Francis have provided for Altovise Davis financially and emotionally, in an effort to bring resources and to bring stability to her life," the statement continued. "It saddens both Mr. LaRoda and Mr. Francis to think that as they are about to realize all of their collective objectives and goals with Ms. Davis, namely, producing a biopic on the life and times of Sammy Davis, Jr., that Mrs. “As an entertainment industry executive for over 20 years, Mr. LaRoda has represented many entertainers. He has significant expertise in the area of intellectual property licensing. He has never been accused of financial mismanagement nor has ever been accused of misrepresenting his credentials or qualifications. “Clearly, Mr. LaRoda and Mr. Francis expected much more from Mrs.
*Big Daddy Kane has signed on as an executive producer for "The Vapors," the forthcoming movie about his former hip hop collective, The Juice Crew. "I got a call from Marley Marl one day and he and some people was trying to get this film together," Big Daddy Kane told AllHipHop.com. "Now we finally got it happening and I got involved. Now it seems like it’s very realistic and it’s actually gonna happen in the next two months." The film's casting director, Red Sable, said roles are still being filled, however four principals are confirmed: Clifton Powell as Juice Crew co-founder Mr. Magic, Keke Palmer as Roxanne Shante, Evan Ross as MC Shan, Jackie Long as Big Daddy kane and Cuba Gooding, Jr. as Marley Marl. "All other roles are still under negotiation," said Sable.
*Lifetime Television is commemorating Black History Month in February with a special all-day programming event on Saturday, Feb. 16, from Debuting at 9 p.m. "Racing for Time" tells the story of a male prison guard who creates an unconventional sports program for some of the toughest and most violent female offenders at a juvenile correctional facility in an attempt to teach them teamwork, discipline and self-esteem.
*New York radio host Wendy Williams is teaming with a company that sells men's grooming products for a month-long fundraising effort to benefit Atlanta HBCU, Morehouse College.
*A line uttered by Halle Berry's character Storm in the 2000 film "X-Men" is among 15 movie quotes nominated for Entertainment Weekly's "Worst Movie Dialogue Ever" crown. In the "X-Men" scene, the weather-mistress finally gets the upper hand during a fight with fellow mutant Toad and delivers the line: 'You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.' View EW's entire list of 15 nominees here: *Some 97.5 million people tuned in to see the New York Giants upset the New England Patriots on Sunday, making it the most watched Super Bowl match up in television history, according to Nielsen Media Research. The ratings are second only to the series finale of "M.A.S.H.," which pulled 106 million viewers in 1983. Sunday's Fox telecast also eclipsed the previous Super Bowl record of 94.08 million, set when Dallas defeated Pittsburgh in 1996. *Universal Music Enterprises has partnered with Circuit City and Vibe magazine for an exclusive, multi-tiered "Back to Old Skool" promotion centered around 20 featured UMe/Verve titles by current and vintage artists. *Author Marissa Monteilh's latest novel, "Something He Can Feel," EVENT CALENDAR: 'Black Hand Side' film series in D.C.; 'Ravensridge' play in Pasadena; Freeman's 'Country Girl' on Broadway; 'Fat Saturday' in L.A.; Ossie Davis Endowment in NY. *Next Generation Awareness Foundation, Inc. has announced that Washington D.C.'s Landmark's E Street Cinema (11th and E Streets, NW) will host the 5th Annual National Black History Month Film & Discussion Series. *Morgan Freeman joins Frances McDormand and Peter Gallagher in the Broadway revival of Clifford Odets' The Country Girl, which will begin April *Uncle Darrow’s 8th Annual “Fat Saturday" in Marina Del Rey, CA is a fundraising event that aims to help furnish a house built by Brad Pitt’s Make it Right Foundation. The event celebrates Mardi Gras in Los Angeles with live music (jazz, blues & Zydeco) provided by T-Lou and the Los Angeles Zydeco Band, as well as traditional Mardi Gras activities, including:
Review by Kam Williams
The show was so successful, that PBS has brought Skip back along with eleven new recruits curious about their roots. This go-round, the group of luminaries includes actors Don Cheadle and Morgan Freeman, poet Maya Angelou, Olympian Jackie Joyner-Kersee, DJ Tom Joyner, singer Tina Turner. Ebony/Jet publisher Linda Johnson Rice, fellow Harvard Professor Reverend Peter Gomes, comedian Chris Rock and belatedly-black author Bliss Broyard. Plus, there’s Kathleen Henderson, the contest winner picked from among over 2,000 entrants to have her history researched for the program. If you remember the original show, then you are already well familiar with the format. Broken down into four episodes, the first focuses on each person’s 20th Century relatives. Episode Two traces Civil War era ancestors, while the third goes all the way back to the Colonial Period. DNA testing is introduced during the final episode, which is when the participants learn what per cent African, Asian, European and Native American they are. Some then venture to their respective homelands. Highlights include Tom Joyner’s learning of the legal lynching of two of his grandmother’s brothers for the murder of a white man, the reading from a slave ship’s log about captives’ deaths from sickness and suicide, and Ms. Ironically, the most compelling moments revolve around Ms. Broyard, daughter of the late New York Times literary critic, Anatole Broyard. For, her light-skinned father passed for white from the time he moved to New York City in 1938 at the age of 17 until his death in 1990. So, growing up, she never knew she was part African-American. Here, she is clearly uncomfortable as she struggles to grasp the meaning of her new identity, while wondering whether her father ran from his out of self-hatred or self-preservation. There is nothing culturally black about Bliss, making her inclusion a bit strange, except that it reminds us that there are undoubtedly millions of others like her, the difference being they are either ashamed or unaware of their African ancestry. The show’s only low moments come courtesy of host Gates who is given to drawing baffling and bizarre conclusions such as when he inappropriately sums up a situation with: “Being black in America has never been about one’s color or facial features. It’s more a state of mind.” What? Or how about another occasion where he fliply suggests that the damage slavery has wreaked upon the black family can be easily undone, saying: “DNA can begin to reverse the Middle Passage. Ain’t that something?” Otherwise, African American Lives 2 is as moving, informative and fascinating four hours as you can hope to find anywhere on the TV dial. Excellent (4 stars)
Sticky Stuff *Born in Brooklyn on November 3, 1973, Kirk Jones joined the rap game as a member of the hardcore hip-hop group Onyx, along with Sonsee, Big DS and his cousin, Fredro Starr. Better known as Sticky Fingaz, he’s recorded five albums with Onyx, plus two solo CDs of his own. In 1995, he made his screen debut in Spike Lee’s Clockers, and he has already added about another 40 credits to his filmography. He’s appeared in a variety of movies, ranging from gangsta sagas such as In Too Deep and Dead Presidents to urban comedies like Malibooty and Next Friday to mainstream flicks like Flight of the Phoenix. On TV, he’s enjoyed roles on both comedies and dramas, including CSI: KW: I want to start by expressing my condolences on the passing of your brother, X-1. SF: Thanks, I appreciate it, although he wasn’t actually a blood brother. A long time ago we started a group together called Gang Green. Our demeanors were so similar, everybody started calling us brothers. KW: Well, I’d still like to express my condolences, since you were close. SF: It means: Everything I touch, I take. KW: I read that you left a gun behind after a stay in a luxury hotel. Seems SF: [Laughs] It wasn’t mine. Somebody else must have left it there. I don’t know. KW: Have you ever met another person with the name Sticky Fingaz? SF: Never. KW: I didn’t think so. Neither have I. So, how did you enjoy doing Blade? SF: I loved it. It was incredible. KW: Were you comfortable with the violence and bloodsplurt? SF: Oh, I love all the gore. [Chuckles] KW: How demanding a schedule did you have while shooting the series? SF: Not only do you have twelve or thirteen hours on set per day but, outside of that, you gotta go through all the vigorous training: martial arts, kickboxing, sword work, wire work, stretching. And on top of all that, you have to know your lines, and you get hurt occasionally. So, it was KW: Yeah, whenever I interview TV actors, they say how much of a daily grind the work is. SF: Figure it this way: Blade the TV show was an hour long drama every week, right? A typical movie is about two hours long and takes like three months to shoot. We’d only take eight days to shoot a one hour episode. So, not only were we going through all the rigorous training, but we had to film in one-eighth of the time of a normal movie. It was really crunch-time. KW: Do you have a preference for making movies over TV shows as a result? SF: No, I don’t really have a preference. I like ‘em both. KW: What about comedy versus drama? SF: I prefer action, although, don’t get me wrong, I like comedy, too. KW: Which do you enjoy more, rapping or acting? SF: You know what? I’ve never been able to answer that question directly, and that’s why I recently finished writing, producing, directing and starring in my own movie, called A Day in the Life in which basically, all of the dialogue is in rap. KW: Like a rap opera? SF: I don’t think that’s the proper word to describe it, but yeah it’s like a rap opera. KW: Why don’t you call it a hip-hopera? SF: Nah, that sounds kinda cheesy. This is a regular movie with action, sex, violence and everything. It’s just that all the dialogue is in rap. But it doesn’t feel like rap, but like regular dialogue, because they’re talking to each other about the situations that are going on in the movie. KW: That’s interesting. It sounds like a trademark David Mamet play where the actors speak in a staccato cadence. I heard Troy Garity’s in your movie. SF: He sure is. He’s good, too. He plays a cop. KW: Also Mekhi Phifer and Michael Rapaport, who’s in a lot of black movies. SF: He’s half black? KW: What? SF: Not really, but he is. KW: He has a black vibe. SF: I gave him a new saying, “Once you go rap, you never go back.” He’s my boy. KW: When do you expect your next solo album to drop? SF: Probably April or May, alongside the movie. KW: I’m sure you’re aware that in response to the uproar over Don Imus, Master P and Romeo have launched a clean record label. Are you going to write PG-rated rap lyrics? SF: Never! I fee like this: a curse word is only a curse because society labels it a curse. For instance the word “f*ck” could mean “love” and the word “love” could mean “f*ck” if they labeled it that way. Words are only sounds, you understand? KW: Yep. SF: All words come from sounds. The whole human world is surrounded by words, while the rest of the world is surrounded by sounds. We humans have transformed sound into words, and then Big Brother, the government, what have you, has decided to call certain words curse words, even though there’s freedom of speech. They’ve censored certain words to show their power. I just feel that since I wasn’t born when those laws were created, I shouldn’t have to follow all of them. I’m going to tell you something. The Hip-Hop Generation is so smart that we created new curse words that aren’t even in KW: Like what? SF: The new word for “bitch” is “blick.” How are they going to censor that? KW: I think African-American culture has, historically, always changed whenever the mainstream has attempted to co-opt it, as if to say, “You can’t take our soul.” SF: Exactly. KW: What advice do you have for anybody who wants to follow in your footsteps? SF: Follow in my footsteps? Don’t follow in my footsteps. Make your own path. You’re your own person, so you gotta create your own path and your own footsteps. Don’t ever follow in anybody’s footsteps, because you’re always going to be led astray. KW: I know that you’re from Brooklyn. I went to high school in Bed-Stuy at the corner of Nostrand Avenue and Carroll Street, where Medgar Evers College is now. Do you know that area? SF: Of course. I used to live not too far from there. On Franklin and President. KW: I grew up in St. Albans. Where in Queens did you live when you moved there? SF: Southside Jamaica. KW: That’s right next to St. Albans. Because of Jimmy Bayan, realtor to the stars, I have to ask: Where in L.A. you live now? SF: Woodland Hills, although I call it Hoodland Hills. [Laughs] KW: Anything else on the horizon for you? SF: I’m also working on a new Onyx album, a collaboration of hip-hop and rock & roll called The Black Rock. KW: Well, I really appreciate the time, Sticky, and best of luck with all your ventures. SF: Bet, thank you, brother.
In the case of President George W. Bush, it seems his impending exit from the White House has him playing protector of that which is good in an effort to save a favorable place for himself in the history books. In Bush’s State of the Union Address last week "trust" was the buzzword he used to address a number of issues, including Congressional earmarks. Most people know them as pork spending. These special interest projects benefit the districts or campaign contributors of the Congress member who proposes them. According to the president, he will cut more than $18 billion worth of what he called "wasteful or bloated programs" before he leaves office. He also promised to sign an executive order that directs federal agencies to ignore any future pork spending bill that is not approved by a public Congressional vote. Some of those programs in question include the National Drug Intelligence Center in Johnstown, Pennsylvania ushered through approval by Congressman John Murtha (D-Penn). At a cost of $39 million a year, the center provides two hundred federal jobs in the depressed steel mill town. According to a General Accounting Office report, the center provides information on the drug war to police departments across the country. The same report showed nineteen other government agencies doing the same work and suggested the center should be closed. In 2005 another government agency claimed the center was "ineffective in achieving its assigned mission." But to this day it’s still open. U.S. Air Force officials have asked for the last two C-17 cargo planes to be built and after that the production line for that model should be shut down. But a group of politicians want ten more of the outdated plane produced at a cost of $2.4 billion each. Seven members of Congress are pushing for the planes’ production despite the military’s insistence they don’t need them anymore. They are Reps. Todd Akin R-Missouri; Rus Carnahan, D-Missouri; Kay Granger, R-Texas; Rob Bishop, R-Utah; Kenny Hulshof, R-Missouri; Ken Calvert, R-California; and Dana Rohrabacher, R-California. Campaign contributors live in and parts of the plane are manufactured in the districts represented by these politicians. Of the sixty-three museums earmarked for 2008 spending bills, $50,000 has been set aside to build a museum honoring the mule in Bishop, California. A $600,000 grant has been set aside for an international museum of women that exists only on the Internet. Democratic Senators Ted Kennedy and John Kerry are responsible for two airports in Nantucket and Barnstable, Massachusetts getting an $8 million facelift. The money has been set aside to replace the control towers at the two airports. Kennedy’s home district is in the Barnstable area and Kerry has a vacation home on Nantucket. With nearly half of the income of American taxpayers going towards some form of tax, politicians always will have an overflow of funds at their disposal. The trouble is most don’t have the discipline to withstand peer pressure. If the opportunity comes your way, be sure to ask your representative if she or he supports public votes for congressional pork projects. If the answer is no, they might be one who’s guilty of over spending your tax dollars.
AMERICA READY TO REDEEM “DREAM TICKET” “Yet with a steady beat *Those words from our Black American National Anthem, “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing,” echoed in my mind as Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton debated one-on-one last Thursday. Watching this historic exchange I was gripped by the realization that the Presidential nominee from one of the major parties will be either a black man or a woman and that nominee will, in all likelihood, become the next President of the United States. Our ancestors who fought and died for racial and gender equality could scarcely have imagined this day! But what struck me the most about last week’s debate was how much Clinton and Obama looked like a team. The bitterness and hostility that boiled over before the South Carolina primary had given way to civility, professionalism and even a hint of kindness. As they sat side-by-side on the stage of the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, it was clear that Barack and Hillary agree on most of the major issues. More significantly, it was clear that these two strong, passionate leaders could put ego and personal ambition aside and join forces for the good of the nation. The audience erupted into sustained applause when debate moderator Wolf Blitzer raised the notion of the two candidates uniting on a “Dream Ticket.” Neither Barack nor Hillary said no when pressed to say whether they’d choose the other as a running mate. Obama even went as far as to say, “Hillary would be on anybody’s short list.” Whether it’s Obama/Clinton or Clinton/Obama, the Dream Ticket can’t lose. United, the two candidates will animate all the factions within the Democratic Party along with the large number of independents who are eager for real change in Washington and that coalition will carry them to victory in the November election. That’s how Ronald Reagan and the first George Bush sailed into the Oval Office back in 1980. They’d been rivals all through the primaries and caucuses but when Reagan secured the nomination he quickly chose Bush as his running mate. That unified the Republican Party, energized their conservative base and set the stage for their overwhelming defeat of President Jimmy Carter. Now, the proverbial shoe is on the other political foot. The Republicans face an uphill climb in their quest for the White House. The American people are fed up with the conservative strategy which has given us a protracted, failed war and an economy spiraling toward recession. That’s why the GOP is on the verge of selecting a moderate, Sen. John McCain, as its nominee. Obama and Clinton could each beat McCain but they’d have to struggle for the victory. (It would be harder for Barack because McCain could more effectively play the experience card – and the implied race card -- against him.) But if they team up, Obama and Clinton (no matter who’s on top of the ticket) will whip McCain in a landslide. M.C. COSBY? “Lest our feet, stray from the places, That’s another line from “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing.” It went through my mind when I read about Bill Cosby’s plans to record a rap album called “State of Emergency.” The 70-year-old comedian, actor and author wants to use hip hop to talk to our kids about black-on-black crime, teen pregnancy, drugs, high school dropout rates and other tragic realities. While no one has any delusions about Cosby’s skills as an MC, we should all applaud this project. Bill Cosby has dedicated his life to encouraging African-Americans to be the best we can. That commitment has been evident in his career choices: from his family-friendly comedy routines, his Emmy-winning dramatic work on “I Spy” in the 1960s, “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids” in the 1970s, his three sitcoms in four different decades, his best-selling books on parenting and marriage, the “Little Bill” children’s stories and cartoon show, his countless speeches at college graduations and community forums and his current book, “Come On, People.” Bill Cosby’s deep love for and faith in our people motivates him to speak out against the self-destructive trends, behaviors and values which are ripping the black community apart. It irks me to see how Bill Cosby has been forced to defend himself in recent years. We can quibble over the way he expresses himself, but his heart has always been righteous. JAMIE AND THE G’S Jamie Foxx’s latest project sort of ties in with Bill Cosby’s advocacy. Jamie’s working with MTV to create a reality show called “From G’s To Gents” which will help young brothers from the ‘hood to develop the social and professional skills needed to be successful. Jamie, who takes pride in being a Southern Gentleman, will teach lessons in etiquette, personal style and chivalry (the proper way to treat a lady). Press reports say that “the young men will learn that every G has the ability to be a true Gentleman – and a real shot at finding success.” Excellent concept – if it’s done right. Hopefully, it won’t be a male version of “Charm School.” The last thing any of us needs is more exploitive mess. THINK! IT AIN’T ILLEGAL…YET!
By Darryl James *Last week, I wrote a piece called “Man Up!” Of course, it was well-received, because it took men to task. But the balance of it all is also discussing what women need to do to make things better. Sadly, some people just don’t want to do anything but talk about the problems men have. I’m certain that this piece will not be met with the warm and fuzzy welcome that the Man Up piece was met with. It’s just not as popular to discuss the issues women have. It’s nearly a Cardinal sin. But, you already know that Darryl James isn’t concerned with what is popular, only what is pragmatic. So, let’s deal with a few things that Black women need to deal with. Sisters, start checking other Black women more often when they are out of control. When men try to let sisters know what the problems are, we get accused of hating women or “blaming the victim.” But we all know that there is bad behavior on both sides—we need to stop pretending that only Black men have problems. For example, sisters need to resolve the confusion and conflict between today’s so-called Liberated “Independent” Women and women who still want men to pay for everything. You can’t be a modern woman, but hold on to the things from the old school that solely benefit you. If you are truly independent, have your own means and don’t need a man, why not pay your own way? Why view men in financial terms with financial expectations--especially if you don’t want to be defined in sexual terms with sexual expectations? Both views are old school—bring one and the other comes right along. And, speaking of being viewed in sexual terms, never try to get men to focus on your mind when your tits and ass are packaged specifically to make us ignore everything and look at your tits and ass. Men are visual and even if you aren’t dressed like a hooker, be a grownup and realize that there are plenty of women who are dressed like hookers and plenty of men who like to look, including men who really are interested in your mind. Realize that you can not change a man, even though a good woman can influence a good man. If you see things you don’t like at the start, realize that they will probably be there at the end when you get hurt. And speaking of pain, stop pretending that only women get hurt. Men get hurt, too and it’s ugly when anyone carries that stuff into the next relationship. Get some therapy, which does not mean talking to your girlfriends about how horrible men are. Let’s talk about sex, baby. Ladies, don’t ever get mad at a man who is unfaithful if you have decided to be unfaithful as well. We know that what is good for the goose can be good for the gander, so stop pretending that only men cheat. Don’t ever place yourself in a position where date rape can occur. If you don’t know the man very well, you don’t need to be in private places with him, particularly if you have had too much to drink (or too much to smoke). Of course no means no, but that slogan means little if you have been harmed. It is not enough to say that a man must “wrap it up.” You must demand that he wrap it up or just decide not to have sex. If you get a disease or get pregnant, you can not act like all women are victims of all men when you opened your body and allowed him inside of you. And if you have sex and get pregnant, do not think that having a child will make you a wife. If he wasn’t shopping for rings before you got pregnant, chances are he still won’t. No matter what anyone says, do not imagine that making a man a father will make him responsible. If you have a baby with a man who you already know is unemployed and/or irresponsible, you are a Deadbeat Mom, because you knew your child would be without a good father--especially if he already has other children that he doesn’t take care of. And, since we know that there are more single mothers raising children than single fathers, be a real woman and take some of the responsibility for the boys who are grown men, but are still boys. Be honest, because we know that many single mothers over the past thirty years have been coddling their boys and turning them into lazy grown boys (The “Baby Boy” Syndrome) with a sense of entitlement. It’s not just the absentee father’s fault. If you are a single mother, you must take responsibility for making certain that your child has an example of a strong Black man in his life. If you don’t have a man, look to the men in your family. You can also look to mentoring programs, or go to the Black church or Black fraternities. Contrary to the popular slogan, you can not do it all by yourself and you don’t have to. This is for the grown girls who never became ladies: Don’t get mad at a man who beats the snot out of your nose if you a) searched for a man with “a little thug” in him and/or b) placed your hands on him first. We know a man shouldn’t hit a woman, but don’t EVER forget that a woman shouldn’t hit a man either. Let’s just keep our hands off of each other. And, even though it seems popular and cool for some females to be “thugged out,” a woman should never talk like a man or act like a man and still expect to be treated like a lady. Ladies don’t date thugs or act like thugs. But if you are thugged out, tattooed to the gills or in other ways just not that fly, stop complaining about the men who don’t want you when you may be the women that men don’t want. Any man who reads a woman’s magazine always gets a laugh reading lies about what men supposedly want. Try this—ask a man what he wants and if it ain’t you, just be a woman about it and move on. Are you a mother to your children, meaning that you are making certain that there is a male presence in their lives? Are you a good example of a positive Black woman or do you even care? Do you trash Black men whenever you get a chance? Do you work with young Black women or do you pretend that only Black men have issues? Don’t talk about how bad Black men are unless you have taken some action to improve things. If there is no strong Black man in your life, seek one out, even if only to make friends with and keep hope alive. Finally, stop talking to each other about what a “real man” should do and be, because most of what you talk to each other about is straight from Fairytale Land. But especially stop dogging Black men out to each other and to white women, some of whom now think that all of you hate all of us and that all of us want all of them. If you want to know what a “real man” should be or do, how about asking real men? Just be a woman about it and focus on what a good woman should be, especially when you are with the girls. Here’s the key—both men AND women have problems and if we only focus on one side or the other, there will be no progress. Get it? In the words of Method Man from the Wu-Tang Clan, “If you keep it real with me, I’ll keep it real with you.” And if the things I wrote here make you mad, just be a woman about it and either make the necessary changes or realize that I wasn’t talking about you. Pass it on to women you know fit the bill. That’s what real women do. Darryl James is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. He released his first mini-movie, “Crack,” and in Spring of this year, will release his first full-length documentary. James’ latest book, “Bridging The Black Gender Gap,” is the basis of his lectures and seminars. Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com. James can be reached at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
*Change happened this week. It's the kind of political change that doesn't happen very often - some might even say has NEVER happened in this instance. It's the kind of change that breeds excitement and changes others who, normally, would not get involved to get involved. Exciting times don't come often in politics. The only thing that excites politics is change. But it's here now, despite the effort on the part of some to kill the momentum that happens every two generations. In the euphoria of the weekend, it evidenced itself "big-time" in the black community. What should be a common sense choice for all of us, wasn't for a few persons who call themselves leaders in our community. It was both mind-bending and heart-breaking to watch-but revealing in its sense of urgency as to the way the community never changes. Some might even say vicious in its demeanor. Somehow, some way, there are those who can't see the change, or don't want the change, and they find a way-to stand in the way-of change. Much "hatin" was going on this past week, but it didn't matter. Still, we can't dismiss haters of progress, who at their very core claim to want change for our people but try to block it at near every turn. I call them the "Change Killers." We're all entitled to our preferences, but we shouldn't pass it off as change when it is really more of the same. It was painful to see so called black leaders, in various parts of the country, introduce Bill Clinton as "a real brotha" or dismiss Obama as not ready. Barack Obama is as ready as he needs to usher in an era of change. The American People are agreeing. There is something deeper here, that even white people realize it. America has done much wrong over the past 250 years. It is trying to overcome a racial past that will cleanse its very soul. America also recognizes that, in an Anti-American global environment that is three-fifths people of color, putting a person of color before the leaders of world makes them look at America in a totally different posture that might be more conciliatory than confrontative. America is trying to save itself from its ancient and recent past. Redemption is always possible, and a nation that doesn't have too many chances left is seeking to return to a principled, intelligent person in running the country. After seven years of the dumbest individual anyone can ever remember running a country, who will leave the largest deficit ever and the biggest war mess of recent history, America sees the brilliance of the American dream coming to past. Rising above race, poverty, single-parenthood into the halls of the elite colleges and demonstrating a mastery of intelligence rarely displayed in politics. An authenticity so real that you can't help but embrace it, and a principled stance that doesn't separate our community from the rest of the country. When has a candidate spoken to us AND America at the same time? Never. Only one of ours can. Americans historically cross party lines, ideological frameworks and partisan preferences when change aligns with their personal politics. Kennedy spoke to a new generation's personal politics and they elected the first President born in the 20th Century. Reagan spoke to America's personal politics and no one was going to stop that change for the alienated white populous. All deals are off when change is in the air. Except when it comes to black people. We are witnessing the most intensive effort to divide black voters since the 1960 election, but anyone who is sincere about representing the interest of black people can see this. Yet, we watched black "powerbrokers" try to siphon off black votes for Clinton under the guise of doing what's best for our community. We watched a well-known black congressperson say, on national TV, that no one was going to tell her how to vote-and she has gotten rich (literally) in a slate mailing operation - telling uninformed voters how to vote. Michelle Obama said it best when she stated that "when power is confronted with real change, they will say anything" [to keep it]. Even kill it - something African Americans know all too well. Change Killers are worse than Dream Killers. Dream Killers told you what's not possible in hopes that you won't try to pursue your dream. Change Killers see the dream being realized and stop the change by any means necessary. The black community is filled with Change Killers, who either don't know a new reality or can't see a new reality, so they stifle change. They make excuses why change is not good, why change can't take place, why change can only come through them, and their communities look the same as they did forty years ago. Change Killers would have us have more of the same just because it's in a different package. The same argument was used for Affirmative Action. You know, the one that said "white women represent change too." They ended up being the biggest beneficiaries of Affirmative Action and most think like the white males that trained and enriched them. That should be a very valuable lesson for black America. Last Tuesday, change ran over the Change Killers. They have until November to re-group, when change will run over them again. Change is on the way-even in the black community. Not even the Change Killers can stop it. Anthony Asadullah Samad, Ph.D., is a national columnist, managing director of the Urban Issues Forum (www.urbanissuesforum.com) and author of the new book, Saving The Race: Empowerment Through Wisdom. He can be reached at www.AnthonySamad.com
"Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure." — Napoleon Hill
Feb. 5: Actor-comedian Tim Meadows ("Saturday Night Live") is 47.
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