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VERONICA'S VIEW: Shaking Off the Wedding Bell Blues
*“Bill, I love you so, I always will. I look at you and see the passion eyes of May. Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day?”
I love that song. “Wedding Bell Blues” was a big hit for the 5th Dimension in 1969. I was too young to appreciate its sentiment. But now I do.
Fast forward forty-seven years later and Bill has finally seen those “passion eyes of May” in – you guessed it – May when the California State Supreme Court overturned the state’s ban on same sex-marriage after the passage of Proposition 22 back in 2000, a statewide referendum passed by California voters outlawing gay marriage and defining marriage as the union between a man and a woman.
Many same-sex betroths shook off their long-endured wedding bell blues when California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples in June, a month after the ban was lifted in the 4-3 court decision.
Lines for marriage licenses were long at many courthouses in California. People waited patiently for the coveted document they had been denied. Over 2,700 marriage licenses were issued in a 24-hour period the first day the ban was lifted in California. The average number of marriage licenses issued in California for a week in June is about 2,400. The spike was due to the number of gay and lesbian couples seeking to tie that first-time knot.
Some same-sex couples had the honor of having their ceremony officiated by elected officials. In Los Angeles, Councilmember Eric Garcetti officiated a wedding on the South Lawn of City Hall. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newson, who challenged the referendum by issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples within his City limits in 2004, also presided over marriage ceremonies.
Wedding dresses, wedding cakes, invitations, tuxedo rentals, cumber buns, floral arrangements, rented halls, and those cute little same-sex wedding cake toppers I saw for the first time were in hot demand. I was dizzied by it all as I thought about the simultaneous frenzy and excitement these couple must be going through. And the City of Los Angeles got ahead of the curb in promoting Los Angeles as a top destination point for same-sex marriages.
In fact, last month UCLA released a report called The Impact of Extending Marriage to Same-Sex Couples on the California Budget. The report projects that in the next three years same-sex marriages will boost the state economy by $683.6 million in wedding spending and tourism; create about 2,178 new jobs; and generate $68.3 million in state and local taxes.
But enough talk about money. The ruling is not about revenue, although the experts have quickly calculated the bottom line. The ruling meliorates an institution that is built on commitment and love – and in this case it involves same-sex couples.
Some folks are ruffled about the court’s decision. A measure to reinstate the ban on same-sex marriages will be on the November ballot in California. However recent polls are showing that many people feel same-sex couples have a right to marry. Who knows how this will pan out.
I have to admit I am heartened to see so many couples willing to say, “I do.” Their optimism is refreshing and endearing about the institution of marriage. I guess I’m just a sentimental mush ball when it comes to marriage. I do believe in it, even though many of us from the heterosexual persuasion suffer from chronic commitment and marriage phobia disorder. Even census data has shown that for the first time in recorded American history, married couples have finally slipped into the minority and that there are more unmarried folks than married ones.
But with 51,320 of California’s same-sex couples and 67,513 same-sex couples from other states that are estimated to get married within next three years, married couples are making a steady comeback, provided the ballot measure to ban same-sex marriage fails in November.
All this talk about weddings gives me the wedding bell blues, especially when the percentage of never-married black women has doubled since 1950 and researchers predict that many of us may never walk down the aisle with an opposite-sex partner in our lifetime. Hey, maybe they will inspire us to shake off our wedding bell blues and get back to the altar. Until then, I guess I’ll live vicariously through Bill and Phil or Cindy and Sarah.
Veronica Hendrix is a syndicated journalist and columnist whose work has covered the span of the human continuum - from clinical trials of male contraceptives, to the gang violence. She is the producer of the highly acclaimed half hour talk show called "LA Woman," which airs on L.A. City View Channel 35, and is a Los Angeles Emmy nominated producer. Veronica's career as a journalist has included being a reporter for USA Today and a producer for a radio talk show in Los Angeles, which focused on issues impacting the African American Family. Veronica is a proud native of Southern California where she lives with her two sons.
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