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ASK ADVICE CHICK: Answers to YOUR Dating, Sex, Life, & Love Questions!
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Dear Advice Chick,
*I met this guy on an online dating site and we did a lot of Q&A stuff about our goals, life, etc. and seemed to get along well. We then exchanged nice emails where he was really chatty and complimentary. Next we moved to instant messaging each other and that was great, except when he was busy working and I was fine with that. We met and seemed to get along well and on our second date--it ended up being 12 hours long...we had a lot of fun hanging out with friends, singing karaoke until the sun rose and then toward the end of our night we ended up kissing and then having great sex, which he initiated. The next morning was ok, we had breakfast and then I had to go. After this he has been in touch, but only to say hi, then he had to go--was busy. He declined some opportunities to meet up.
When we ran into each other a week later at a bar it was nice to see each other but it felt awkward (esp since he said he was too busy to go out). I said something about the awkwardness after we spent a few hours just talking and hanging out. He said he felt awkward too, because he was afraid I might feel that there was a relationship now that we had slept together. I said that was making assumptions. He said we barely know each other. I asked him if he wanted to keep getting to know each other or not and he said he did want to keep getting to know each other. He hugged me and said that he was glad we talked about this. He asked if I felt better, and I said I guess so. Then I left the bar. I called him 30 mins later to apologize for bringing up the topic in public and I got voicemail. I also emailed him the next day a short friendly email to show I was still the same fun person he was getting to know. No response yet from him but he is out of town for a week on a work project. What do you think? Is there hope?
Advice Chick replies,
Keep getting to know each other? He no longer needs to get to know you. He already knows you’re a female that fuxxs on the second date. He said that because he didn’t want you to create a scene at the club. He was happy as hell when you finally left the club. When you called a few mins later to apologize, he reached for his phone (they’re usually on vibrate when in a club), saw YOUR number, and pressed IGNORE so fast and hard that he almost broke his finger.
He may be out of town, but the odds are he has access to the Internet and his email. Oh! You’re no longer the fun person he was getting to know; you’re now some chick that got the dyck.
Yes, there is hope. There’s “hope” that you learned something from this and possibly previous encounters; stop getting physical so fast. Also, learn how to value your time. Date number two was twelve hours? That’s an awful long date, ma. Initially this guy might have been interested in “you.” As the date went on (and on, and on) he realized you didn’t appear to have sense enough to end the date. We don’t always have to wait for the guy to end the date, ya know. We also don’t have to agree to a sexual liaison just because he initiates it. Ever heard of saying no?
-----> Ladies, please listen. Notice the signs. Listen to your intuition. When you’re with a guy B.S. (that’s BEFORE Sex) everything is good. He calls all of the time. He responds to your emails almost instantly, he is available and is interested. Usually A.S.T.S. (AFTER sex too soon) he doesn’t (or rarely calls), ignores your emails, and isn’t available or interested. <-----
When you saw him in the club he said, “We barely know each other.” That was a true statement; however, I bet he wasn’t saying that when he was talking you out of your thong, was he? If it’s too early for a relationship, it’s too early for sex.
Send YOUR questions and comments to Advice Chick right NOW! Please put “Dear Advice Chick” in the subject line so your email isn’t deleted as spam. Thanks! Send your emails t advicechick at ameritech.net
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Ask Advice Chick about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING related to dating, sex, love, and life! She is THE resident dating expert at EURweb.com, and calls on over 11 years of dating and relationship industry experience.
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