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JENNIFER HUDSON ENGAGED TO VH1'S 'PUNK': Proposal took place Friday, on J-Hud's 28th birthday.
*After a courtship of less than a year, Jennifer Hudson is engaged to marry her boyfriend David Otunga, better known to VH1 viewers as "Punk" from the second season of "I Love New York."
The 28-year-old Harvard Law School grad was in Los Angeles with J-Hud Friday night to celebrate her 28th birthday when he popped the question with a Neil Lane diamond ring, according to reports.
The VH1 reality star Tiffany "New York" Pollard christened Otunga with the nickname Punk during her show's second season in late 2007. He was a finalist on the show, but lost his chance at love with Pollard to winner Ezra "Buddha" Masters.
Otunga has worked with the Rev. Jesse Jackson's Rainbow PUSH Coalition. He and Hudson are both from Chicago.
NATE DOGG REPORTEDLY SUFFERS 2ND STROKE: Allhiphop.com reports crooner is in serious condition.
*Singer Nate Dogg is reportedly hospitalized in serious condition after suffering another stroke, his second since December 20 of last year, AllHipHop.com reported Monday afternoon.
The Web site is quoting sources who say the artist, born Nathanial Hale, is unable to breathe on his own.
The crooner was already partially paralyzed on the left side of his body as a result of the first stroke, although it didn't leave him with any major brain damage.
In June, Nate Dogg was arrested for allegedly making threats against his former girlfriend as he followed her in another car on the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles.
SWIZZ BEATZ' WIFE CALLS OUT ALICIA KEYS: Mashonda may name singer as 'other woman' in divorce papers; producer releases statement.
*Alicia Keys continues to deny that she has anything to do with the split of producer Swizz Beatz and his estranged wife Mashonda, but, there are new reports that the Grammy winner could be named as "the other woman'
in divorce papers.
The New York Daily News is reporting that the producer's wife of almost five years and mother of his 1-year-old son, Kasseem Dean Jr., got upset when she heard about a supposed birthday party Keys threw for her husband at midtown's Louis Vuitton store, where guests included Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony and Robin Thicke.
"Alicia introduced Swizz as 'The man of the hour and my boo,'" the Daily News quote of an insider. "Mashonda has had enough. She put her career on hold to be a wife and mother. She's tired of pretending she's deaf, dumb and blind to what's going on. She can't believe how disrespectful Alicia is being."
Mashonda is said to have also gone off when she found a flirtatious e-mail from Keys on Swizz's BlackBerry. According to sources, she fired back a reply, reminding the singer he was still her husband.
Both Swizz and Keys have been trying hard to shut down reports claiming she was involved in the breakup. The singer told Us Weekly she's not "in any way linked" to his decision to leave Mashonda. Swizz has also publically denied that Keys is responsible for his separation.
He released a statement to Us Weekly on Monday saying: "I can no longer ignore the harmful rumors, that my friend Alicia Keys is in any way linked to my marital circumstances or to the decision that [my wife] Mashonda and I have made to separate. I am disappointed that some have chosen to try and tarnish Alicia's reputation by irresponsibly implicating her in a situation that she has absolutely nothing to do with. This experience has been one of the most difficult times in my life, and as was stated when we announced our separation several months ago, I ask that you continue to respect my privacy in dealing with this personal matter."
Though he traveled with Keys overseas last summer on her European tour, Swizz continued to lives, off and on, with Mashonda and Kasseem Jr. at their Westchester mansion, according to the Daily News.
A friend of Swizz told the paper: "His relationship with Alicia began after their separation. He hasn't kept it a secret. He still has great love for Mashonda and has promised to take care of her and their son and support her career."
Mashonda has now hired powerhouse matrimonial lawyer Bernard Clair, the paper reported.
"This could have been handled quietly," said a friend. "But now Mashonda has taken the gloves off."
DIAHANN CARROLL DISHES ON POITIER IN NEW BOOK: Actress' tell-all details drama during pair's affair.
*In her new book "The Legs are the Last to Go," veteran actress Diahann Carroll writes candidly about her courtship with screen legend Sidney Poitier, alleging that he double-crossed her during their affair.
Carroll claims that the actor persuaded her to divorce her husband Monte Kay, and that Poitier also said he would leave his wife to be with her. But when Carroll got her divorce, the Oscar winner didn't keep up his end of the bargain. Carroll said she dated another man out of frustration, which didn't sit well with Poitier.
"Sidney called me at my hotel . . . 'You b*tch, whore, tramp,' he yelled. 'I know he just left your bed. I won't have you running around with other men. You belong to me!'" the New York Post quoted her as writing in the book.
She wrote that Poitier later told her he'd finally left his wife, Juanita Hardy. He even bought Carroll a ring and made her decorate a 10-room Riverside Drive apartment he'd bought.
"I was only home a few days when he called to say his wife was having second thoughts. Our wedding plans would have to be postponed," wrote Carroll.
She added: "When the apartment was ready and I was about to move my daughter in with me, Sidney told me he didn't want her there . . . He changed the locks so I couldn't get in. Then he made me write him a check to offset his purchase and decorating costs. I did as I was told, submissive and desperate."
Despite her decision to detail their relationship drama, Carroll says Poitier, who did not comment on the book, continues to be her friend.
"Sidney and I are now friends. That's a lovely thing that comes as you age - forgiveness and perhaps a relaxing of standards," wrote Carroll.
The book, from Amistad, will be released next week.
WYCLEF JOINED BY MATT DAMON IN HAITI: Celebs call attention to hurricane ravaged Gonaives.
*Wyclef Jean and actor Matt Damon toured the ruins of Haitian city Gonaives on Sunday to draw attention to the plight of its citizens marooned by Tropical Storm Hanna and Hurricane Ike.
"I'm speechless, I can't believe it," Damon told the Associated Press as he looked down from a U.N. helicopter at people living on the rooftops of flooded homes.
The actor also saw muddy streets littered with encrusted pots, pans and laundry where waters have receded.
"It's inhumane. I wish there was a word in the dictionary. No human should be living like this," said Jean, a local hero and founder of the charity group Yele Haiti.
The celebrity pair's four-hour visit Sunday "passed in a blur of stenches, colors and noise," wrote the AP. "As they turned onto the flooded Rue Christophe, another pickup packed with women sloshed within arm's reach. Face-to-face with the celebrities, the women cried, 'We're hungry!' A young man calf-deep in water raised both arms and shouted, 'Fix our roads. Fix our city!'"
Damon and Jean are urging help for the United Nations to raise more than $100 million for 800,000 Haitians in need after four tropical storms and hurricanes have struck the country since mid-August.
J.LO COMPLETES CHARITY TRIATHALON: Entertainer competes in charity race six months after birthing twins.
*Jennifer Lopez finished her Malibu triathalon Sunday in 2 hours, 23 minutes and 28 seconds, according to reports.
"I feel really great and so glad I finished," said the actress-singer. "More amazing than that, I feel really great that we raised $127,000 for the Children's Hospital [of Los Angeles]."
The artist participated in the charity swim-run-bike race just six months after giving birth to twins Max and Emme. Her husband, singer Marc Anthony, cheered on J.Lo from the sidelines. The couple even managed to share a kiss between the biking and running portions of the race.
Also competing Sunday was J.Lo's "Wedding Planner" co-star Matthew McConaughey, who finished the race about an hour before Lopez.
Following the triathalon, the singer hoped a plane and flew to New York to throw a star-studded 40th birthday party for Anthony. The shindig at the Bowery Hotel in the East Village included guests Brooke Shields, Djimon Hounsou and Kimora Simmons.
MARIO VAN PEEBLES TO DIRECT ACTION THRILLER: Film will be his first as helmer since 2003's "Baadasssss!"
*Mario Van Peebles will step behind the camera for the upcoming film "Kerosene Cowboys," an action thriller due to begin shooting in October.
Based on a novel by Randy Arrington, the story follows the rough-riding and hard-living pilots of an elite Navy attack squadron, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
Cam Gigandet will star as a hot-shot pilot, Shane West plays his one-time best friend-turned-nemesis, while Rachael Leigh Cook will play an investigative journalist and Gigandet's love interest.
The movie is eyeing shoots in St. Petersburg, Russia, and the Naval Air Station Fallon in Nevada.
OBAMA SAYS 'NO COMMENT' TO RACIST 'WAFFLES': Offensive boxes were being sold at a Republican forum.
*Barack Obama's campaign has declined to comment about the racist overtones of the iniquitous "Obama Waffles" that were being sold at a conservative political forum Saturday in Washington.
Mark Whitlock and Bob DeMoss, two writers from Franklin, Tenn, rented a booth to sell their "Obama Waffles" waffle mix that came in a box depicting the Democratic presidential candidate as a racial stereotype on its front and wearing Arab-like headdress on its top flap.
Obama is portrayed with bulging eyes and big lips as he stares at a plate of waffles and smiles broadly. On the back of the box, Obama is depicted in stereotypical Mexican dress, including a sombrero, above a recipe for "Open Border Fiesta Waffles" that says it can serve "4 or more illegal aliens." The recipe includes a tip: "While waiting for these zesty treats to invade your home, why not learn a foreign language?"
Whitlock and DeMoss said the "Obama Waffles," offered at $10 per box, were meant as political satire. But Values Voter Summit organizers cut off sales of the boxes on Saturday, saying they had not realized the boxes displayed "offensive material," reports the Associated Press.
David Nammo, executive director of the lobbying group FRC Action, said summit organizers were told the boxes were a parody of Obama's policy positions but had not examined them closely.
FALCONS SAFETY LAWYER MALLOY ARRESTED: Athlete popped in suburban ATL for DUI and speeding.
*Atlanta Falcons safety Lawyer Milloy has been arrested on DUI and speeding charges in suburban Atlanta, reports the Associated Press.
The 34-year-old player, currently in his third year with the Falcons, was booked into the Gwinnett County jail about 4:30 a.m. Monday morning, and was released at 9:48 a.m. after posting bond of more than $1,600, according to reports. No further details about the arrest were given at press time.
“Any time any of our players are in this type of situation, we are extremely disappointed, myself and our organization,” Falcons coach Mike Smith said around midday. “It’s something that is completely unacceptable.”
“I’ve had a conversation with Lawyer this morning,” Smith said. “A very lengthy conversation. It was something that I’d like to keep private between he and I. What I can tell you is that this matter will be handled internally. The league and the (NFL players associations) sets certain standards on things you can and can not do.”
KANYE MAY AVOID FELONY CHARGE IN L.A.X. INCIDENT: Particulars of California law may come into play.
*Kanye West just may be able to sidestep felony charges in his paparazzi incident last week as Los Angeles International Airport.
The rapper and his road manager, Don Crowley, were arrested for suspicion of vandalism after allegedly smashing the cameras and camera equipment of photographers snapping pictures of him near a security checkpoint.
Under California law, someone who criminally damages property worth more than $400 can be prosecuted for felony vandalism. Because West is alleged to have broken only a camera lighting rig, which was worth $100, his charges may be lowered from felony to misdemeanor, according to TMZ.com.
Crowley, however, may be charged with felony vandalism for allegedly smashing camera equipment worth more than $1,400 and a TMZ video camera reportedly valued at $7,000.
Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Times is reporting that two L.A. city councilmen filed a motion Friday asking officials at LAX to look into how they deal with celebrities and the paparazzi.
50 CENT IMPRESSED BY DE NIRO'S GUN SKILLS: Rapper and acting legend went to shooting range during filming of 'Righteous Kill.'
*Even though two-time Oscar winner Robert DeNiro has played many gun-toting characters convincingly on screen, his "Righteous Kill" co-star 50 Cent said the actor is a better shooter than he had expected.
People.com is reporting that DeNiro took the rapper out to a local shooting range during downtime on the set as a way to break the ice.
"We went a couple of times together," said Jackson, 33. "He was a much better shot than I thought he would be. I was impressed."
In the film, 50 plays a street-hustler-turned-nightclub-owner who often baits the police – which in real life would be a definite no-no.
"He is taunting the police and they don’t actually do that," says Jackson. "In reality [gangsters] move away from those type of situations, because ultimately you wont win." Adds Jackson, "In that life you don’t want no association to them period. You want to avoid police totally."
Of his other co-star, Oscar winner Al Pacino, 50 said he wasn't intimidated by the 65-year-old screen star. "I was comfortable, because I was really well-prepared," says 50. "I had worked long and hard with an acting coach specifically for that role."
VILLAGE PEOPLE COP CAN ONLY EYE WALK OF FAME: Victor Willis watched the ceremony with fans from the sidewalk.
*Gossip blogger Janet Charlton wrote of Friday's Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony honoring the Village People, which took place as original lead singer Victor "the policeman" Willis, watched the event from the sidewalk.
Willis, who left the group years ago, showed up in a fake cop uniform and stood among the fans on Hollywood Blvd. to watch the festivities. Later he signed autographs at a Hollywood Blvd. store.
Charlton adds: "Victor made more money than anyone in the group because he gets royalties for writing the lyrics to their biggest hits 'YMCA,' 'Macho Man,' and 'In The Navy.' For years he's battled a raging drug problem (it destroyed his marriage to Phylicia Rashad of The Cosby Show.) Years ago at a low point he was seen selling Phylicia's castoff clothes on the street in San Francisco. He says he's clean now."
ANOTHER STORM DISTURBS 'GATEMOUTH' BROWN: Coffin of late bluesman, who died after fleeing Katrina, was unearthed by Ike.
*Late blues legend Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown" – who fled from his adopted New Orleans home during Hurricane Katrina and died shortly after resettling in his hometown on the Gulf Coast – has now had his permanent rest disturbed by Hurricane Ike.
According to The Associated Press, the Grammy winner's casket was one of dozens at Sparrow Funeral Home that floated up from the ground as Ike's gulf and rain waters flooded Hollywood Cemetery, an all-black burial ground on the west side of Bogalusa, LA on the Sabine River.
Two days after Ike reached land, water gurgled and bubbled ominously from submerged graves and "graveware" trinkets left behind by mourners became debris littering the ground, reported the AP.
The top of Brown's vault had popped off, and his bronze casket had floated away. But three jars of Bama grape jelly remained by his aluminum marker, no doubt left by a fan of his instrumental classic "Grape Jelly."
The 81-year-old musician was living in the New Orleans suburb of Slidell when Katrina destroyed the city. Dying of lung cancer, he evacuated to Texas and was never able to return. He died on Sept. 10, 2005, not two weeks after the storm.
ITTY BITTY BITS: Nichelle Nichols is Mr. Sulu's 'Best Lady'; Clinton enjoys Obama t-shirt; Ray Nagin upsets Ike victims.
*Veteran actress Nichelle Nichols served as "Best Lady" in the wedding of her former Star Trek co-star George Takei and his longtime partner, Brad Altman. Sunday's nuptials took place in a multicultural ceremony at the Japanese American National Museum that featured a Buddhist priest, Native American wedding bands, a Japanese Koto harp and a bagpipe procession. Takai, 71, and Altman, 54, were among the first couples to receive a marriage license in West Hollywood when the state began granting licenses to gay couples on June 17.
*Bill Clinton reportedly got a kick out of a sex joke from "Legally Blonde" actress Laura Bell Bundy. The New York Post's Page Six reports of a run-in she had with the former president at Nobu the other night. The blonde Democrat showed him a T- shirt she had made in support of Barack Obama. It read" "Every Time Obama Speaks, an Angel Has an Orgasm." The Post's spy said: "Bill loved it and even chuckled he couldn't wait to show it to Hillary."
*Ray Nagin has offended Hurricane Ike evacuees by suggesting that they ask for a discount – the "Nagin special" – when they stay at hotels in his city of New Orleans. Many evacuees thought he was serious and asked for the discount, only to receive baffled looks from reservation clerks, reports the Associated Press. Nagin's remark prompted a hotel association to send an e-mail urging business owners to make appropriate accommodations in the spirit of cooperation. Nagin says in a statement it was a joke and just "my attempt to lighten the mood." One Texas evacuee told The Times-Picayune of New Orleans that it "was not a joking matter when you're running for your life."
THE BRIDGE: (More) Top Ten Random Questions
By Darryl James
*As we approach the fourth quarter of 2008 and a presidential election that threatens to create change which could move the nation forward, there are a few things that are roiling in the back of my head and in the media that I just want to share.
In another Top Ten List, here are More Top Ten Random Questions:
1. Why won’t those morons abandon the Stop Snitching Campaign?
I was hoping this was a joke and/or confined to a few boneheads in New York City. Sadly, it won’t die even though some people are dying and others are refusing to serve as witnesses to bring about justice.
Refusing to snitch on people who commit crimes is neither noble nor practical. It is neither sophisticated nor heroic. In fact, it is about the most bitch-made behavior that people could possibly pursue.
2. Can someone explain to me why women (especially Black women) think that supporting Palin will in any way further the cause of women?
This woman is Ultra-Conservative (including being anti-Roe v. Wade) and if she had her druthers, would roll back the accomplishments of women in this nation over the past century. She can see Russia from her front yard and I can see the devil when she speaks.
3. Why is the media constantly comparing Hurricane Ike to Katrina to downplay the death and destruction?
So, okay Ike isn’t wreaking nearly the havoc of Katrina, but if it is your family in distress, does it matter? Damage is damage and loss of life is loss of life.
4. Would it be possible for people to have a real discussion about the validity of Global Warming?
Is it just me, or has anyone else done any research into the weather patterns of the earth over time? It seems to me that the earth has gone through warming and cooling patterns as a natural course of things, as opposed to some planet-ending series of events. I could be wrong, but hey, so could the Global Warming proponents. Hell, I still don’t believe my ancestors evolved from apes.
5. Are we supposed to be dancing in the streets now that gas prices have begun to come down?
Hell, get those prices under two dollars and I’ll be the first one in the middle of the street with a tuxedo dancing like Fred Astaire. Until then, I still feel like I’m getting screwed when I pull up to the pump.
6. Why Did I Actually Like Tyler Perry’s new movie, The Family That Preys Together?
Lawd only knows that Meet the Browns was so God awful, I nearly threw up. Now, if we can only get him to kill everyone on that Coonfest called “House of Payne….”
7. Why does anyone care about that fool OJ Simpson?
This loony senior citizen was foolish enough to think he could posse up and gangster somebody—hell he deserves to go to jail. I’m just tired of seeing his ignorant ass anyway. He still doesn’t understand that he’s on trial for chasing white girls. The court of public opinion has found him guilty and would love to see him jail.
8. Why the hell are we propping up Welfare Queens?
Ha! I’m sure you thought I meant women on Welfare, when I was actually talking about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
While both institutions were initially launched by the US Government, both eventually became privatized. Now that they are failing, the government is bailing them out. Of course, we can all come up with reasons why they absolutely must be salvaged, but the reality is that goofy people talk poorly about average citizens who need help, yet have no problem with abuse of government funding directed towards military spending or corporate bailouts.
The housing industry, regulators and the media saw the subprime lending scam bring on the housing disaster, but no one did anything to stop it.
9. Now that Bush’s administration draws to an end (unless McSame is elected), why is the warmongering idiot pretending to want an end to conflict in the Middle East?
I don’t for one hot minute believe that Bush sincerely wants to create a viable timeline for US military exit from the Middle East. It’s simply empty posturing to match the verbiage of Senator Barack Obama.
10. Is anyone really concerned that Oprah will lose a measurable portion of her majority white female audience for not supporting Hillary and now, for not supporting Palin?
In addition to not caring, she panders so hard to her audience, that even if she takes a major hit, she’ll bounce right back after the election.
As always, these questions were posed to stimulate healthy discussion amongst those with active brain cells. If you take them personally, or really don’t understand, please just walk away and be quiet.
Darryl James is an award-winning author of the forthcoming powerful anthology “Notes From The Edge.” Discounted Autographed and Numbered Pre-Release copies can be ordered at www.darryljames.com. He released his first mini-movie, “Crack,” and this year, will release his first full-length documentary. View previous installments of this column at www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theblackgendergap.com.
THE JOURNAL OF STEFFANIE RIVERS: Tell Me Something I Don’t Know
*Last week U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said she could go through an entire day of work at the State Department and never see another Black person.
Rice admits that’s “not acceptable.” When I go around the world, I want to see Black Americans involved in the promotion and development of our foreign policy,” Rice declared.
Her comments were part of the keynote address at the annual Conference of the White House Initiative on National Historically Black Colleges and Universities. That means it was a room full of Black people all too familiar with the sad truth of her speech. Telling them about this problem is like a pastor preaching to the choir. The people who need to hear the speech probably were not at the conference.
Last year the State Department supplied millions of dollars in scholarships and grants for students of black colleges and universities for language training, study abroad and exchange programs.
America is full of people of color with more degrees than a thermometer. But with a plethora of reasons not to succeed – unwanted pregnancies, drugs addictions and crime – a percentage of Black students manage to beat those odds. Add to that the fact that they like to travel, are multi-lingual and are waiting for the opportunity to prove themselves as qualified as the next person, and you’ve got a picture of what happens when good luck and preparation meet.
While I commend Rice for speaking the truth, the real courage comes in speaking the truth to the people who have the power to change what is to what should be, including the woman in the mirror. Instead of just stating the sad state of affairs, answer some hard questions. How may Black interns has Rice mentored? How many Black people has she hired? Everybody knows it’s not just what you know, but who you know. Doesn’t Rice know any qualified people of color to refer for the many openings at the State Department? In her position, Rice could have singlehandedly changed the landscape of the State Department.
It seems to me Rice is just another politician saying what she thinks the people want to hear. She’s no different than her boss, President George Bush. Last week he also said what he thinks people want to hear when he said he plans to pull 8,000 combat and support troops out of Iraq by February 2009. For the past six years he’s been a horse with blinders on following the same war path despite commissioned reports, tell all books and the absence of weapons of mass destruction.
This pledge to withdraw troops is a lifeline to American voters. It’s Bush’s last effort to usher in his Republican successor in November. It’s akin to an abuser who promises to stop beating his wife if she promises to stay with him.
Do like Forest and run in the opposite direction.
It’s time the American voter stop allowing politicians to say one thing and do another without consequence.
Steffanie Rivers is a free-lance journalist living in Dallas, Texas. For public speaking inquiries, comments or questions email her at teamtcbadvertising@hotmail.com.
POLISHED STONES ETIQUETTE: Thank You Notes
*As I sit here at my desk handwriting a few thank you notes, I am reminded how rare this gesture has become. There was a time just a few years back when I would receive hand written thank you notes regularly. While I do receive lots of acts of thanks through via the internet, I rarely receive then in my post mail box.
In the most recent years we have become a society of urgency. We rush to do so many things in a single day until we tend to lose sight of the small things that matters the most. I cannot express how good it feels to receive a hand written thank you note for something that I have done for someone. To think that a person appreciated my deed that he/she would take the time to hand write a note means so much to me. Now in today’s society, we seem to think that forwarding a thank you via the internet or on the telephone should be sufficient, but nothing takes the place of a handwritten note.
I believe that the habit of writing thank you notes is an important gesture we should all practice. It allows us the opportunity to express our gratitude and appreciation for someone else’s good deed toward us. Thank you notes are best sent soon after the deed is done, preferably within a week. Thank you notes should be sent on these occasions:
When you receive a gift from someone.
When you have stayed in someone’s home overnight.
When you have received a special kindness or favor from someone.
Thank you notes have three parts:
Thank the giver and name the give.
Say something nice about the gift.
Use a pleasant closing and sign your name.
Anyone is capable of sending an electronic thank you note. But thank you notes are meant to reflect the sender’s personality, not only in the words selected but in the stationary and handwriting. Most people save thank you notes to remember your message or to re-read them. This cannot happen with an e-mail thank you message. I realize that people are eager to embrace new technology. However, let’s remind ourselves that a personal thank you note should not be electronic because it deserves a personal touch. And for plain folks like myself, it sure does make a day more memorable. Remember, people are like diamonds, they sparkle once they are polished.
Angela Carr Patterson is an etiquette consultant, founder of The Love Story Women’s Circle, an online women’s circle and the owner of Oasis Promotions, an empowerment and personal development company, and the creator of The Revival of a Love Story Women’s Experience. A popular speaker for events and conferences, Angela travels the country teaching women how to embrace passion, purpose and power for their lives.
Contact her at angela@oasispromotionsllc.com or www.oasispromotionsllc.com
VERONICA'S VIEW: Two Days in Temecula
Veronica Hendrix
*Many of my friends and colleges are either dealing with empty nesting as their child goes off to college or are anxious as their child becomes a senior when school begins and know that the nest will be emptying soon. I understand the dilemma they are facing. So, I’d like to offer this presentation of “Two Days in Temecula” in hopes of making the journey a little less bumpy.
Adios. Au revoir. Arrivederci. Bye-bye.
What lovely words, in any language. And these are the words my two sons heard me utter as they saw the back of my head descend down the stairs of our home to my hasty escape.
I was leaving. not on a midnight train to Georgia, but for two days in sun kissed Temecula, the wine country. Why Temecula? Why not? It’s far enough to get away, but not too far to travel alone.
“I will call you when I arrive, “I turned back and yelled.
Feeling like the cat that had just caught the canary, I literally pranced down the stairs. But about half way down my knees locked. There was one more thing I neglected to say. I turned around and yelled. “Don’t call me unless it is a matter of life and death.”
It was the end of the summer, that time of year when my life abruptly shifts from laissez faire to back to business because that’s what going back to school is. It’s business. It’s not only business for students, it is business for parents with daily monitoring of homework, late night science projects, after school tutoring, early morning parent/teacher conferences, and the inevitable “call from the teacher” that all is not well.
But this year I embraced the changing season with a smile and fervent anticipation. You see my youngest son starts the fall semester as a high school senior and the promise of change for my life is now dangled in front of me like a golden carrot.
I vividly remember when my eldest son graduated from high school and went on to college like it was yesterday. The feeling then was one of having reached some symbolic half way mark. But now I see myself coming in for the home stretch with the goal line just in sight.
This was indeed a time to celebrate. But more importantly it was a time for contemplation. My life would be changing with the speed of light in merely months to come. I needed to get away and take it all in, shuffle it and spread it all out before me like a deck of cards. I needed two days in Temecula.
Temecula is approximately 95 miles Southeast of where I live in Los Angeles. The lion’s share of the ride comprises the I-5 South, 91-East and the I-15 South. But with Frankie Beverly and Maze Live in New Orleans spinning twice in my CD player, the drive was exhilarating. Unfortunately the one hour and thirty-six minute drive, as specified by Mapquest.com, turned out to be a two hour and forty-minute drive because of heavy traffic. I arrived at the Temecula Creek Inn with numb buns from the lengthy drive but mentally ready for forty-eight hours of “me time.”
“Hello? Yes I made it safely. I’ve check into my room and now I am getting ready to go out to the pool area,” I said curtly to my soon to be senior calling my cell phone, who just wanted to hear my voice. I promise I will call you later, OK? When am I coming home? The day after tomorrow. Adios. Au revoir. Arrivederci. Bye-bye.”
It’s funny, commandeering this two-day getaway was an arduous task, especially when guilt kept bridling me like a saddle. But confronting the myriad of issues that permeate my life today and those that imminently await me tomorrow was also arduous. In fact the solitude became deafening, and twenty-four hours into my stay I longed for something to shatter the stillness I had ached to embrace, like another cell call. But all those whom I had left behind in the City stayed at bay, complying with my request to be left alone.
Breathing the clean air that nurtures the vineyards was ameliorating. The country side is beautiful and serene. A late afternoon tour of a local winery proved to be what I needed to jump start my introspection. I learned that producing fine wine has many parallels with producing a fine life. It takes care, hard work, nurturing, in addition to preventive and intervention measures when weather conditions are inclement. You see the end result in always sight. It is to produce the best possible harvest that will yield the best possible wine.
In raising my children for some years as a single parent, I feel a little like a wine maker. I have worked hard in nurturing and caring for their needs in good times, lean times and bad times. All this was done to produce the best possible offspring. But unlike a wine maker who has the next harvest to look forward to, I was now facing my final harvest with my youngest son on the cusp of graduating from high school and beginning his journey into adulthood.
What will my life be like without someone to fuss over, herd, prod, guide and direct? For more than twenty years I have toiled and poured my life into two vessels who are now full, capped and ready to make their ascent into the marketplace.
And as much as I struggle in admitting it, my self identity has been closely tied to being a mother, a care giver, a nurturer. When this is taken away from me with the gentle changing of the seasons, what will I fill the void with? How will I spend those moments of solitude that are now as foreign to me as Tagalog? Heck, these two days in Temecula have left me in a quandary.
The wine tasting was great. You sip here, sip there and sip everywhere. If you appreciate wine as much as I do, it is a real treat when you discover a wine that awakens your palate and makes you say, “ahh that’s it.” It’s like a taste bud epiphany.
Well my taste buds were not the only epiphany that happened in those forty-eight hours. I had one on the languorous drive back to the hotel. I decided that I would discover what things awaken my senses. I would fill my time trying new things, embarking on new journeys and exploring new territories. I will learn how to enjoying nurturing myself to produce the best possible life for me.
Maybe I will go back to school, finish that business plan that has been yellowing in the file drawer, take a trip to Ethiopia where my ancestors are said to hail from, learn the flamenco, or take a portion of my life and pour it into some needy young women.
“Hello? Hi sweetie. Yes I will be leaving within a few hours. No, you are not bothering me. And yes I had a restful time,” I said with a smile to my sixteen-year-old who was hungry because he and his twenty-one-year-old brother had managed to consume four days worth of food in two days.
But that’s ok. I will enjoy these moments because they are fleeting. And I will miss them too and all the responsibilities that surrounds raising children. However I absolutely welcome the change of the season and look forward to what the future will yield as a result of my two days in Temecula.
Veronica Hendrix is a syndicated journalist and columnist whose work has covered the span of the human continuum - from clinical trials of male contraceptives, to the gang violence. She is a Los Angeles Emmy nominated producer. Veronica's career as a journalist has included being a reporter for USA Today and a producer for a radio talk show in Los Angeles, which focused on issues impacting the African American Family. Veronica is a proud native of Southern California where she lives with her two sons.
PEOPLE OF NOTE: OSPAC Honors Rain date for Jazz and Latino Music Festival
By Deardra Shuler
*The Oskar Schindler Performing Arts Center, a non-profit organization with a mission to bring high caliber performances, has a strong commitment to arts education and thus offers it at free or minimal cost to the public through its annual Jazz and World Music Workshop.
The Saturday, September 6th performance was cancelled due to torrential rain. However, the show must go on, so it’s been rescheduled to Saturday, September 20th, with the same artist lineup as Saturday, September 6th, except for Allen Harris, who performed on Sunday, September 7th. And what a performance he gave. People crowded around the band shelter, spread out on the lawn, frequented the vendors, got massages by beautiful Crystal Lake, painted the music, and cheered Harris, Locke, Lovano, Cecil Brooks , Harry Allen, Kate Baker, Nilson Matta and Brazilian Voyage, while enjoying the warm sun and taking in the good vibes. All and all it was a perfect day and the mixed crowd of Jazz and Latino music aficionados definitely showed their appreciation.
This reporter took a $10.00 roundtrip train ride on New Jersey Transit, where I enjoyed the scenic ride to South Orange, New Jersey. In the train station’s back Parking Lot, I hopped into the white shuttle van marked Health instead of OSPAC, wherein I took a leisurely ride out to the Festival located in West Orange. Admittance was only $10.00 for adults and free for children, 12 and under, so it was quite inexpensive for a day of fun, food, sun, and music. I chatted with Kate Baker, the Executive Director, who was very pleased with the turnout, while photographer Donovan Gopie snapped photos of the Jazz and Latino bands. I even got a massage to soothe my “reporters back.” You know, those back kinks reporters occasionally get from lugging batteries, cameras, tapes, tape recorders, pads and pencils.
I had the opportunity to chat with Allen Harris who was having a wonderful day meeting his fans and selling his CDs. In fact, I noticed that most of the talent hung around long after their performance. It was just that kind of leisurely day when everyone was in good spirits.
OSPAC is a wonderful venue. Larry Pantirer of Millennium Homes donated the Amphitheater and surrounding three acres of land to the township of West Orange in memory of Oskar Schindler, who saved hundreds of Jews during the Holocaust, including Pantirer's father, Murray Pantirer. OSPAC is the only performing arts theater in the United States named for Oskar Schindler. OSPAC Sponsors were: Commerce Bank; Millennium Homes; Ferential Systems Inc; Leaf, Saltzman, Manganelli Pfeil & Tendler LLP; Reckson Associates Realty Corp.; Matzel & Mumford; PSE&G; and WBGO-FM.
Singer and OSPAC Executive Director, Kate Baker, has been associated with the OPAC Jazz Festival for 6 years. She discussed the OSPAC Jazz Festival Summer Workshop, which offers students of all ages the opportunity to study with an internationally renowned faculty of jazz musicians. The students performed on Sunday with the OSPAC Jazz Workshop Big Band. “These talented musicians, (13 and up) high school, college age and older, learn their craft from the masters. The Summer Workshop emphasizes the mastery of playing and singing jazz and world music. “Our goal is to improve the students’ musicianship and help facilitate creativity. Students who attend the workshop will improve in their chosen style of music with a greater appreciation for all types of music, whether it is jazz, rock and roll, pop, funk, fusion, R&B or hip hop. Students receive individual attention to help improve their skills. This workshop is one the students will remember for years to come,” stated Baker who is instrumental in assuring the yearly success of the event. “The Festival continues to grow and I consider myself fortunate to be able to get the wonderful talent and assistance from all those whose energy goes into making OSPAC what it is,” stated Kate with gratitude. “We had a wonderful lineup this year of jazz and Latino artists so we invite people to come out on Saturday, September 20th to close out the last remaining warm days within this beautiful environment. It is very conducive to families and music lovers alike. People can stroll throughout the lawn and picnic alongside the beautiful lake. Attendees can bring their own food, chairs, blankets and mats or purchase food from the international food and unique items from vendors who sell their wares at the event,” said Kate who has performed at other festivals including the Euro-Meet Jazz Festival, The Texaco Jazz Series in New York City, Liberty State Park Jazz Concert Festival, Berkshire Jazz Festival, the William Paterson Jazz Room Concert Series, The Carini Jazz Festival, and The Pergine Spettacolo Jazz Festival, et al.
Saturday September 20
1:00 pm Carrie Jackson Quartet
2:00 pm Maucha Adnet Quartet - Celebrating 50 Years of Bossa Nova!
3:00 pm Duke Ellington Legacy Band Featuring Norman Simmons and Nancy Reed
4:00 pm Kate Baker Quintet featuring Vic Juris with special guest Judi Silvano
5:00 pm Dave Stryker and the West Orange All Stars with special guest Billy Hart
6:00 pm Geri Allen Trio
7:00 pm Grupo Latin Vibe
The festival will be emceed by WBGO’s Gary Walker, who will present the festivities against an open-air setting, complete with artisans, crafts, a health spa center, entertainment, and activities for children. The weekend will also include “Paint the Music” led by Nitza Horner, who is a teaching artist and freelance educator affiliated with the Metropolitan Museum of Art. “Via the Paint the Music” project anyone can pick up a paint brush and paint the music as it sounds to them. I am very excited about this aspect of the Festival. I think it will be a fun thing to do,” claimed Kate.
Driving directions are on the site. The free OPAC shuttle will pick up festival attendees at the South Orange Train station and drive them to the Festival in West Orange, New Jersey. Interested parties can learn more about the festival and shuttle schedule at http://www.ospac.org.
EUR MOTIVATIONAL NOTE
"If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us ... we would all be millionaires." — Abigail Van Buren
CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS
Sept. 16: Blues singer B.B. King is 83. Singer Betty Kelly of Martha and the Vandellas is 64. Jazz guitarist Earl Klugh is 55. Singer Frank Reed of the Chi-Lites is 54. Singer Marc Anthony is 39. Singer Musiq is 31. Actress Kyla Pratt ("Fat Albert," "Dr. Doolittle") is 22.
WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
Not just a bridal showcase, but www.BlackBridalGuide.com is a community where brides can chat with other brides about their pre and post-wedding experiences.
Submit your favorite Web site to us along with a 15-20 word (or less) description to info@eurweb.com.
BLACK HISTORY
Sept. 16, 1933: Emperor Jones, starring Paul Robeson as Brutus Jones, is released by United Artists. It is Robeson's first starring movie role and the first major Hollywood production starring an African American with whites in supporting roles. (Source: www.BlackFacts.com)
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