STEVEN IVORY: Tiger and Our Cheating Culture

     *Tiger Woods showed us that he is a genius on the fairway,   that he can express himself well during TV interviews  and that he cleans up good.  That's all.   We did the rest.    

     We're the ones who made him more than us.  We did what we usually do regarding those who exude  an  aura  of decency, intelligence, compassion and/or power, wealth and smarts: we told ourselves he was somehow different. 

     The thing is, everyone is as unique as Woods. We all possess the capacity for certain talents and skills.  Because Woods can  golf his ass off doesn't mean he doesn't pick his nose and then look at it.  Or cheat on his partner.         

     We insist on thinking more of others than we  think of ourselves  because, well,  WE lie and WE cheat;  we'd like to think there are people who don't do this.  And, of course,  there are.  But cheating is something the best of us is capable of. 

     That's why we're so fascinated with Tiger and Elin.  We're not gaping  because Tiger's improprieties are unusual--he's not accused of  the bizarre or wacky. No, we're intrigued because  most of us can relate either to Elin  or Tiger or both.   We've either cheated or we've been cheated on.  We're either cheating right now, being cheated on right now or know someone who is doing one or the other or both.  Right now.  Tiger has simply given us the opportunity to see just how  repulsive  the whole thing looks. 

     In the past two weeks, we've heard from broadcasters, reporters, pundits, relationship experts,  former CEOs, psychologists and Jean and Joan and who knows who.  Everyone weighs  in on what Tiger and Elin should  do to “save” their "marriage,"  his career and all of golfdom.  You wonder if  the precious counsel prescribed by the talking heads  is the advice they themselves follow.  Because somebody among them is cheating, too. 

     That's more than a presumption.  Long ago, mankind designated sex as  a tonic for its collective psychosis. We've always been a culture of adulterers, philanderers and cheaters. People have  always been driven by their rampant egos,  reckless narcissism and garden variety insecurities.   They've always turned to sex  to help them feel better. The only thing different today is the media coverage. 

     But the average person is not on television. The truth is Tiger's woes reflect the tragic trance everyday people find themselves in. 

     Matters not if you're cheating with one  or a dozen.   The damage is the same. Those  genuinely  shocked at reports of Tiger's  voracity  would be stunned by the staggering numbers  being racked up by housewives, high school students, clergymen, sanitation engineers, physicians, teachers, attorneys and nurses.  “Average” men and women who  trade  reality and personal dignity for  the empty conquest lined with denial and guilt. 

     A dysfunctional America is on a  sexual rampage way scarier than any strain of flu. That--instead of the inane debate as to whether or not Tiger will keep any endorsements or if  Elin should stay--is the national dialogue we should be having. Anything less would be what we usually do. 

Steven Ivory's book, FOOL IN LOVE (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster) is available at Amazon.com (www.Amazon.com). Respond to him via STEVRIVORY@AOL.COM