*My parents divorced when I was 2, the last time I saw my father I was 12 and he rarely if ever paid child support.
That happened more than thirty years ago, so my mother and I survived his neglect. But when I read about Desmond Hatchett
, the male (he doesn’t deserve to be called a man) who fathered 30 children with 11 different women and now is begging the state of Tennessee for child support assistance it reminds me of how important it is for children to have the emotional and financial support of a father.
Having one without the other only leads to someone else having to pick up the slack where deadbeat parents fall short. Thanks to my mother and grandparents I received the financial, emotional and spiritual foundation every child deserves.
So when I hear supporters of gay marriage say homosexuality is not partly to blame for the breakdown of the family structure they couldn’t be more wrong than a man who fathers more children than he can pay for and nurture. My argument is not against the act of homosexuality even though the Bible says it is a sin, because we all have sinned, but rather the consequences of it.
A man only can be a man, that is his chemical makeup only allows him to offer certain qualities as a mate and a nurturer. Likewise, a woman who is chemically designed by God to complement a man (because of his limitations), also has certain limitations as a mate and a nurturer. But together they complete the emotional, physical and financial equation. So when the ying or the yang of a family structure is missing it can’t be replaced no matter how hard we try to compensate for the absence. That’s no disrespect to single parents (as my mother was) who do an awesome job everyday mostly because they don’t have a choice. But one parent can never provide for the complete physical, emotional and spiritual needs of a child. Two women can’t do it together nor can two men.
As much as I am in support of people being involved in loving relationships – because God grants us free will – more people should consider the consequences of their behavior on themselves, their loved ones or others around them. Whether it’s falling out of God’s unmerited favor or contributing to the unstable development of a child in this instance, there are consequences for every action or lack thereof.
If gay couples want the legal right to marry for no other reason than simple validation, that’s one thing. But that’s not the case. Being legally recognized as a married couple makes gay couples eligible for spousal and survivor benefits and other advantages reserved for married couples of a traditional (man and woman) nature. That’s why they want to change the laws, otherwise I doubt they would fight so hard for it.
Even though I have gay friends, I do not advocate approving gay marriage as law the same as I would not want to support Hatchett’s children. I should not have to pay for their behavior any more than the citizens of Knox County should have to subsidize his child support payments.
Steffanie is a freelance journalist living in the Dallas, Texas metroplex. Send comments, questions and speaking requests to firstname.lastname@example.org.