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“There’s a lot of racism going on. Who’s more racist, black people or white people? It’s black people! You know why? Because we hate black people too! Everything white people don’t like about black people, black people really don’t like about black people.” – Chris Rock
*Be warned, this editorial will NOT include flowery language, textbook grammar or picture-perfect syntax. Fuck that shit.
This time around, my point is very simple: Black people are infinitely more racist than any other racial group in the world (including whites). And no, we shouldn’t have a license to insult others just because our ancestors were slaves (over 100 years ago) — that’s a bogus and worn out excuse. Anyone who supports this notion is utterly and deliriously retarded and deserving of a hard slap to the fucking face.
I’m tired of being politically correct, and I’m tired of making an effort to publish thoughtful material when you simple niggas would prefer to read about NeNe Leakes getting into a fistfight with Kandi Burruss on the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
So for the next 800 words or so, Ima tell you motherf*ckers like it is — no filter. Here it goes: (ahem) I can’t stand black people. You happy now? I said it. That’s what you Negroes have been waiting for me to admit since 2013. Well niggas, whoomp there it is.
What I can’t stand most about black people is how oblivious they are to how incredibly fucked up they are. We (and I’ll include myself briefly) are the ONLY racial group that rationalizes our dysfunctional behavior, but will turn right around and criticize the imperfections of other racial groups (especially whites and Latinos).
The most recent example that comes to mind is the outrage that was sparked when Bill O’Reilly took a shot at Congresswoman Maxine Waters, calling her hair a “James Brown wig”. I won’t waste time commenting on her appearance — although O’Reilly has a point, ol girl’s wig is slightly James Brown-ish (she might wanna start calling herself the “Godmother of Soul”).
You niggas have been trolling O’Reilly ever since he made that remark, flooding social media with angry Tweets and even angrier Facebook posts. It’s as if y’all have forgotten how much you have ridiculed Donald Trump over the past year and a half (even Snoop Dogg’s black ass pretended to assassinate Trump in a fucking music video). And may I remind you of how often black comedians rattle off racially insensitive jokes while the people they’re making fun of are sitting in the audience?
Let a white comedian, or Hispanic, or Asian, attempt to make a “black joke” in front of you niggas — it would spark a riot and probably result in that individual getting his ass booed off stage, getting beat down on stage, or getting shot behind stage. That’s a double standard — it’s a blatant, disgusting example of hypocrisy, and most of all, it’s a reflection of how insecure, whiny and nauseatingly weak (yes, weak!) black people actually are.
You niggas don’t seem to have a problem shitting on other people’s cultures and traditions, but when the tide shifts, when you become the butt of someone else’s joke, when your flaws get exposed, when your culture and traditions are mocked and minimized, there’s no amount of reason or logic that can be used to keep you calm.
This is why the black race is viewed in such a negative way by other racial groups — not entirely because of skin color and negative stereotypes, but it’s largely connected to how extraordinarily vulgar (and yet) emotionally fragile many African Americans tend to be.
This paradox suggests that black people as a collective group generally suffer from one of two very aggravating conditions: a) self-delusion or b) severe bi-polar disorder.
If I had to guess, I would choose option A — it’s the only way to explain how you niggas actually view yourselves as victims despite constantly (and joyfully) ridiculing other groups of people.
If a recording of Jimmy Fallon ever surfaces of him making a fried chicken and watermelon joke, it would cause such an uproar that he would likely be exiled from Hollywood and then roasted constantly on social media by enraged black headhunters.
George Lopez, one of the all-time great comedians, recently caught hell from disgruntled critics after he made the following joke during a stand up in Phoenix: (“there are only two rules in the Latino family; don’t marry somebody black and don’t park in front of our house”).
Meanwhile, during a live taping of his nationally televised show, Steve Harvey (who I respect) gleefully poked fun at the penis size of Asian American men. Sure, Harvey’s PR team persuaded him to cough up an apology, and a few oriental journalists published scathing editorials about his character.
But the infraction hasn’t resulted in a severe penalty (even though it should have) — he was merely given a slap on the wrist. But I’d be willing to bet my next paycheck that if this scenario had befallen Conan O’Brien or (insert non-black celebrity here), it would’ve ended with some unlucky soul getting fired from his job.
If you’re black and disagree with what I’ve postulated thus far, go fuck yourself and then come back and finish this lesson — I’m almost through.
How often do you niggas get cut off on the freeway and say, “these fucking Mexicans can’t drive?”
How often do you niggas poke fun at the Chinese because of their reputation for cooking rat and passing it off as chicken in their restaurants?
How often have you niggas described white people as “smelling like bologna and wet dog hair?”
How often have you confused East Asian Indians with Native Americans and said “oh well, same difference.”
I’m not making this shit up — I hear it from you niggas virtually every damn day.
For years, I’ve held my tongue every time I would hear some idiot say, “black people can’t be racist”. In my head I would say, “is this nigga retarded, black people are without question, absolutely some of the most racist human beings walking the face of the earth — it’s not even a question.
So yes, I’m doubling down on my earlier declaration: I wholeheartedly cannot stand black people (a certain type anyway). It has nothing to do with stereotypes –because I fall into many of them. Simply put, if you can dish out punishment, you’d better be able to take it. And from my perspective, black people pretend to be tough, but they’re actually full of cotton (pun very much intended).
The Black Hat is written by Southern California based Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog: corythewriter.blogspot.com, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood