*Idris Elba has been named People’s 2018 Sexiest Man Alive and while many women agree that the magazine finally got it right (after naming Blake Shelton the sexist last year), decider.com contributor Claire Spellberg has noted that “I’m not sure Idris Elba knows how to make out.”
Spellberg breaks down her reasoning using gifs to support her theory about Elba’s kissing skills… get into it below.
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Spellberg writes:
As Stringer Bell in The Wire, Elba kisses with so much tongue that you’d think he’s a dog trying to get the last bit of peanut butter out of a jar. We’re talking full-on licking, plus some slurping noises that definitely did not deserve to make it into the final sound mix.
While Stringer Bell’s friends (and enemies) got to bone like 24/7 on The Wire, old man String didn’t get his chance until Season 2, when he started dating Donette (Shamyl Brown) while her boyfriend, D’Angelo Barksdale, was in prison. When they hit it off, I was super excited. But alas, that excitement quickly faded when I saw that Stringer kisses like a seventh grader. Stringer goes in IMMEDIATELY with his tongue, and it would be generous to say that he sticks the landing. Instead of making out with Donette’s mouth, his tongue kind of catches on her chin, and he’s forced to (or wants to?) lick his way up until he hits her lips.
While many adoring fans would love to be licked by Mr. Elba, some might agree with Spellberg that all his extra tongue action is a deal breaker.
Spellberg writes:
I get it: people french in different ways. But you cannot — I repeat, CANNOT — tell me that I should be able to see your tongue before it makes it into someone else’s mouth. Elba goes tip-first (obviously I’m referring to the tip of his tongue) in each of his sex scenes in The Wire, practically all of which were with Brown’s Donette. Here’s Stringer grossly kissing Donnette in Season 2 Episode 3, “Hot Shots”:
Elba shows off his tongue once again in Season 3 Episode 4, “Amsterdam.” This time, String lands a little closer to Donette’s mouth, but there’s still an unsettling moment where his tongue leads the charge in their kiss, effectively negating anything sexy about the moment.
Meanwhile, this writer can’t help but think how lucky the actress was to have her mouth molested by Idris’ tongue.
Spellberg ends her piece with: The verdict? Idris Elba may be the Sexiest Man Alive, but he’s still a gross kisser.
What say you? Sound off in the comments.
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